Ch ch ch changes

It's been a long while since I last posted. And boy, howdy! there's plenty to report. So, I will do an injustice to all the excitement in my life by summing things up here.

We had Gabriel's baptism last Sunday. It was FABULOUS. Our rector is retiring from our parish as of July 1st so we feel very lucky he was able to squeeze us in. (I, in fact, scheduled the dunking of #3 before he was even born... which I thought of as bad luck for sure... but it looks like everything worked out!) Randy has been leading our church since just after the Resurrection (or maybe 1978?) so this is a HUGE change (#1) for the congregation. He also happens to be (along with Bishop Robinson) THEEE reason I found myself back in the pews after so many years away. My father-in-law, a non-church goer himself, says if he lived here he'd go to church, too, because he admires Randy so much. THAT'S sayin' something!

Gabe likes Randy so much he'd like to nurse!

We had a pretty big crowd: Scott's parents (who were meeting Gabe for the first time), my parents (my Dad meeting Gabe for the first time) and my sister, Heather, and her family (all of whom were meeting Gabe for the first time). So, obviously, this was a "big reveal" for the little dude. He was SOOOO happy to have so many eager, loving arms to hold him. His days were exceptionally peaceful, as were mine, since I basically just had to feed him when he got hungry. He's definitely a snuggle bug and happiest when his in the arms of an adore-er.

Hail, hail the gang's all... (well, not even CLOSE to all... but a nice subsection of the gang's) here!

My sister brought her 3 youngest kids (her eldest is in college) and I get a little choked up just thinking about how amazingly the kids get along together. We lucked out weather-wise so the 5 of them (Gabe was not game... spoil sport!) spent allll day outside creating Zombie-Proof forts and playing hide 'n seek and swinging and generally have a fantastic time together. I think it helps that I have boys and she has girls (twins Annie & Sophie, age 9, & Tessa, age 8) as I think this removes some of the one ups manship that might occur if they were the same gender. Although.... maybe it doesn't matter. All I know is that they adore each other and it gives me no end of pleasure to see them romp around.

Cousin fun at the playground.

Cousin fun on a mini-hike. They're all so reserved and shy....

Happy as he was with all the lovin', Gabe still seems to have tummy troubles. So, I have changed (#2) my diet fairly drastically, based on Dr. Sears' recommendations. (Thanks to Bobbi for the web link!) I have eliminated dairy, caffeine, soy, peanuts, chocolate, citrus, wheat, chicken, beef (as a vegetarian, this is obviously not a sacrifice!), eggs, nuts, corn, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, onions, green peppers, and tomatoes.

WOW, right? I had to make a list of foods I COULD eat in order to convince myself that I wasn't going to starve to death. I have been eating Rice Chex, coconut milk and fruit for breakfast. For lunch and dinner I've been eating quinoa, brown rice, sweet potatoes, avocados (with apologies to Barbara Kingsolver and all she taught me in "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle"), peas, sunbutter, chick peas and all manner of fruit. I am sprinkling chia seeds on and in as much of my food as possible in order to get the nutritional benefits it offers.

I think, by the way, that he is feeling a little less gassy: he still HAS plenty of gas but it doesn't involve as much pain and pushing to get it out. I am on day 3.5 of this and need to maintain this strict diet for 2 weeks. Then I can work foods back in and see how he reacts. While I would love to head back in with chocolate first, I think I have to give wheat a chance... living without bread and pasta is tough around here! (You gluten free folks have my sympathies!)

As far as my own feelings, I am surprisingly un-hungry. As in, less hungry than I am when I eat whatever I want. I have sort of an "empty" feeling, though that is almost certainly psychological. And I know my legs don't feel very fresh, even after a rest day. I have lost a pound or two (not that I'm really trying) but I'm kind of surprised I haven't lost more, given how low-cal my diet is now compared to my normal carb/chocolate fest! We'll see how things look in 12 or so more days. I am a little concerned about getting good fueling for my long runs, but thankfully I don't have any scheduled beyond 8 miles for the next two weeks. Trying to crank out double digits with this diet would be very hard for me.

As of now I would, by the way, kill for a hot fudge sundae.... but maybe this break from crappy food will get that monkey off my back. Oh, and at least I can drink wine. One glass with dinner makes me feel like there are still some fun things I can have.

Only in my dreams....

On Tuesday, Megan and her kiddos, Max (age 3) and Sydney (age almost 5 months), visited and bore the gift (well, a loan, anyway!) of a Moby Wrap. Holy schmoley. We are changing (#3) from using the sling, (which was useful and fine but he seemed to slip out of place a bit) to the Moby Wrap and life.is.GOOD! Gabriel totally digs being snuggled up (as noted during baptism weekend) but this Mama has got STUFF to do. The Moby allows me to be hands-free and do (almost) everything I need to do... minus the fussing and crying that would pop up when he was on his own in the bouncy seat or on the play mat. (Lookitme bein' all Attachment Parenting and junk!) Will this indulging his need for contact bite me in the butt later on? I have no idea... but for now, I am enjoying the peaceful baby that rests comfortably with me for long stretches during the day.

MC Phoebe be Baby Wrappin', wickedy, wickedy wack. Yo.

Sydney's totally over her Moby and lovin' her Ergo Ride... Thanks, Syd!

I tried to make my own Moby Wrap by buying material at Joanne's and wrapping it following YouTube instructions. Don't bother. This is a much cheaper option but you will never find the soft, stretchy, SPF material Moby has and you will just wind up cutting it into pieces and dying it to create Ninja costumes for Elliott's 6th birthday party. Well, maybe you won't do THAT exactly, but you get the idea. (It was a great party, by the way! We celebrated a week early because of so many family members in town for the baptism.) I guess you could say Elliott is changing (#4) into a 6-year-old on Saturday.

Of course the 40-ish moms are the ones who most enjoyed the ninja get ups. We got the moves like Bruce Lee.

Finally, tomorrow (or maybe next week... jury is still out if I'll be needed) is my last day as a daycare provider. This is by far the biggest change (#5) in my life - other than the birth of Gabriel - in almost 5 years. I told myself from the start (fall 2008) that I would do daycare until Elliott was in school full time. The birth of #3 makes sticking with it more appealing, but I need to make a change. As a dear Mother Runner friend said (I'll keep her nameless in case she doesn't wish to be quoted here), "It seems like running a daycare makes you hide your light under a bushel." I'm grateful for social media because I definitely wouldn't have felt I was shining ANY light if it weren't for my online nonsense over these 4 long years.... but she did sum it up fairly well there.

Two of my original daycare buddies with T & E. Winter 2009. They were 4 & 2 at the time. How far we've come!

So, while dropping a job that would allow me to stay home with my little baby seems straight-up stupid, the opportunities that I am pursuing would resolve a few challenges my family faces right now... But I won't go into that unless and until I have a position lined up and the ink has dried.
 And certainly there will be posts about the changes we will be facing after that gets resolved!

Tomorrow is the last day of school and kindergarten promotion. Hopefully I'll blog about that before, say, September!!

Hope your changes are going well. And a final shout out to Dede, who's changing into a Warrior Goddess as we speak. Way to go, Dede. You ROCK!

Marvy Mom Monday: Homemade Bread Edition

With these posts I'm trying to share with the world the things that make my mom so fantastic. I've told you about her generosity, her sense of humor, her love of music and theater and (especially) babies... but what I haven't talked much about is her bread.

When I was a kid, Mom baked bread. Not all the time. Not every week, even. But if there was an "occasion" (celebration, death, birth, reunion....) Mom could always be depended on to bake her famous bread. She got the recipe from one of her relatives (help me out, Ma... who'd it come from?) and while the one I'm about to share is MY version of HER version of the ORIGINAL version, I promise that it's EASY and so, so, soooo yummy!


My Mom's Bread

INGREDIENTS
2 cups milk
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp salt
1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
2 packages yeast (quick rise NOT recommended)
2 eggs
8 (approx) cups white flour
2 Tbs vegetable oil

In a medium sauce pan, heat milk until slightly bubbly and a skim forms on top. Remove from heat and add sugar, salt and butter. Set aside and let cool to "baby bottle temperature".

Dissolve year in 1/3 cup warm water.

In large bowl, beat eggs with mixer. Add (cooled) milk mixture and yeast and continue to mix.
Slowly add flour and mix until it becomes a solid dough (or too hard on your mixer!). Knead on a floured surface until it is in a solid dough ball. *LEAVE THE MESS... You'll need to use the dough'd surface in a while...*

Pour 2 TBS vegetable oil in the mixing bowl (no need to wash it out...). Place dough "smooth side down" into oiled mixing bowl, spin it and turn so smooth side is up. Cover with a warm, damp cloth and let rise to 2x it's original size. (This can take anywhere from 1 hour to a LOOONNNG time depending on the humidity level!)

Remove the cloth and punch the risen dough down. (A very satisfying moment in this recipe). Dump onto the floured surface and let rest about 5 minutes.

Knead dough again into a smooth ball. Cut into thirds. Knead each third into a loaf shape and plae in greased bread pans. Cover again with warm, damp cloth and let rise.

When dough has risen to twice its size (yes, again) bake at 350 for about 25 minutes. Crust should be golden brown and bread should sound hollow when you tap it. Remove from oven and immediately coat with butter. YUMMY!!

If you can, eat a slice as soon as it's cool enough. Delicious with homemade lasagna. AMAZING the next morning as toast (with a glass of chocolate milk!) Freezes really well, too if you don't need 3 loaves.

BAMR Jam

I failed in my first attempt at canning. I was trying to make blueberry jam. The directions were clear, except you had to flip back & forth to different charts and I misunderstood... I added the sugar before boiling the fruit. Big mistake. I attempted to finish up but the "jam" is more of a syrup - very (too) sweet and not set.

But, one good thing came out of my time in the kitchen. I came up with a great name for my jam: BAMR Jam. BAMR stands for Bad Ass Mother Runner. So, to keep it G, you just say "bammer" and you don't have to explain to the kids' teacher why your kid is such a potty mouth/headed for juvvie/just plain naughty.

And THEN, last night, I had an even BIGGER revelation: BAMR Jam can mean many things!

1. BAMR Jams: any number of fruit spreads perfect for pre- or post-racing or working out.
2. BAMR Jams: the clustering of a group of running mothers trying to get in a port-o-potty all at once before or after a race.
3. BAMR Jams: The (often cheezey) music mother runners will amuse themselves with while in a workout.
4. BAMR Jams: cute, sassy pajamas that are comfy to sleep in but not offensive (read: tattered) to a running mother's sleeping partner.

I was so giddy in the middle of the night when I thought of these. I only wish now I could remember the others that came to me! May you be a BAMR Jammer today and everyday!

Marvy Mom Monday: Circle of Life Edition

WARNING: This blog post is rambling and maybe has no thesis. And maybe it's not really about Mom. There's maybe, like, a vague point but there's a horrendous lack of TA DA! If you've never read my blog before, you might want to skip this one and tune in when I am clever-er. Maybe tomorrow? If you know me and you're willing to read on anyway, please forgive me! And give me feed back because, as I state at the end... T-Minus one year till I need a Big Girl Career!

When I was growing up, Mom did things homemade. She sewed us first-day-of-school outfits and Halloween costumes. She (almost always) made dinner from actual ingredients - not from packages. She canned tomatoes and made homemade jelly. While she would buy boxes of brownie and cake mix, she baked them herself.

As I grew older Mom found ways to save herself time and energy by utilizing modern conveniences. I think some of this had to do with feeling less like she was always on a very tight budget. (When I was in fourth grade she went back to teaching full time and this income must have given our household of 8 a huge boost.) I also remember distinctly a trip we took to Phoenix to visit my Aunt and Uncle. I had just graduated from high school and we went for 5 days or so. I noticed - and I know Mom did, too - that Aunt Tootsie served us great food.... but most of it was frozen and simply microwaved or baked into its final loveliness. I've never asked her, but I'm thinking that this trip put the kernel of an idea in Mom's head: "If TOOTSIE can serve frozen food for a family meal, so can I!"

So, about that time, Sam's Club became a very popular family field trip and packaged lasagna and ready-to-microwave mozzarella stix and pre-cut veggies and massive bulk packages of condiments found their way into our house. I am very happy that Mom found a way to save herself some effort and still put good food on her very busy table. All hail the woman with better things to do than chop veggies all afternoon!

But in the last few years or so, I think I sense her swinging back the other way... or she's at least interested the swing I'm trying to make that way. I recommended "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" to her and I know she's ordered a hard copy (this from the Kindle Queen!). I mentioned to her that I was hoping to do some canning or other preserving of fresh, local foods this summer and... viola!... Mom ordered me some canning supplies and a "how to" book to get me started. I'm very excited - and nervous - to give it a shot. She's given me a lot of ideas of what is best canned (peaches, tomatoes, pears, etc.) and what is best frozen (any green veggies). Maybe, just maybe, there's a twinge of nostalgia in her voice? Or she misses her Mama? Possibly both.

Here's a bit of a leap, but this "how to feed your family" thing is sort of a social lightning rod. Obesity rates are offensive, frankly, and many kids think apples come cut up in 1-inch pieces in plastic packages with Ronald McDonald's face on them. (I'm not a journalist here... I'm totally making that last one up... but if SEEMS that way!) Feeding into (ba-dum-dum) my thinking about all this is another great read I had recently: "Poser: My life in twenty-three yoga poses" This is by a woman from Seattle, WA who was trying to be "that" mom who nursed till her child was 12 months old and only bought organic toys and didn't allow television and maintained a writing career. Not surprisingly, she STRUGGLED to be all the things that were expected of her in her community. It seems to her (and me) that a lot of us are asking ourselves to be career women AND organic/homemade/nurturing/forward-thinking Moms & Wives, too. It's a LOT. And now I've rambled away from Marvy Mom Monday a great deal... but Mom's in here, I swear.

It's sort of interesting to think of my mom struggling with any of this homemade v. pre-made, wholesome v. convenient, Suzy Homemaker v. Jane Careergal stuff. She is, after all, a "pre-feminist". (This is a HUGE generalization but a good friend of mine says she can almost always nail down a woman's mindset about life and careers and family based on their graduation year from high school: 1968. Before that, June Cleaver; after that, Melanie Griffith in Working Girl!) She was a small town girl, very eager to get married and have kids and run a household. She, in fact, loved doing that and was not thrilled to head back into teaching. But when she did start up again at school, something had to give. So, homemade school clothes went bye bye. (No loss to us kids, we were getting past the point of "what mama sews is cool" anyway!) And convenience foods began filling up our freezer and fridge and pantry. She did her best to keep her balance with her career (in which she continued to advance and excel) and her 6 children.... which became 7 children... and then 8.... followed by grandchildren, many of whom were, frankly, more like children than grandchildren in many ways.

So, in my final year as a kind of stay-at-home Mom, I'm focusing on getting my family moved toward locally grown foods. I'm focusing on finding sources of protein that won't cost more than our mortgage but will also not fill my guys with hormones and pesticides and god-knows-what-else. (Oh, and wouldn't it be nice if in their time on earth these protein sources actually resembled the animals that they supposedly are?)

I hope get it nailed down. I hope I find a way to put it on autopilot. 'Cuz next year, I hope my mom will be counseling me on which shoes go with my new work suit instead of what part of summer is best for finding the sweetest peaches.

If I only knew what I wanted to be when I grow up....

WHO'S IT GONNA BE??

Five Things Friday

This week, back to random stuff....

1. Awesome run yesterday. I was dreading it because I couldn't go in the morning and had to do 75 minutes of hills (like there's any choice about that around here!) being "aggressive" on the uphills. I am not really a fan of running in the evening but that was my only choice. I don't know if it's related, but I've been paying a lot more attention to strength training lately. I even did a 10, 9, 8 workout (squats instead of jumping jacks this time) with Elliott yesterday while Tommy was having his swimming lesson! I know there will be hard days coming - there always are - but I am enjoying this time of feeling strong and happy in my running.

2. Swim lessons begin. Our schedule got kicked up a notch this week because the boys started swimming lessons. (Neither one of them are exactly bold and brave in the water, but they do it, so I'm happy. Hoping one day they will be stronger and more confident swimmers than their mother!) Our weekday mornings are pretty regimented: summer theater drop off, errands or cleaning or laundry or mowing, summer theater pick up, lightning fast lunch, swim lessons, home to collapse (the boys are exhausted at this point), camp for dinner, baths & bed. It's all relative, but it seems like I'm spending an AWFUL lot of time in the car!

3. One cancer patient with good news. Kathleen had great news regarding her cancer treatments last week. Her CT scan shows the tumors have not spread and are getting smaller. Shhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gife also has no sign of the blood clots that caused her so much trouble early on. She's got 2 more chemo treatments (had one on Monday) and then they'll see. Appointment with the oncologist on July 16th will talk about when surgery will be. The boys and I will be heading up there this afternoon to spend the night. Her brother, who has moved in from Chicago to help out, has to go home for a funeral. (Cancer. Ugggh).

4. Whole foods. On my trip to Candor and back I listened to "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver. It's a few years old, of course, but SO good. I am overwhelmed by the changes we've seen in how we (members of Western society) eat in the last 50 years or so. Most of what people eat can barely be defined as food, I'd say. The book has inspired me to re-focus on what my family and I eat. She advocates eating fresh, locally grown/raised food... but I'll settle for doing that when possible and going with not-out-of-a-box-with-scary-unpronounceable-ingredients! Such competition out there, though, begging us to eat crap. Since coming home I've made a couple of stops at farms for fresh strawberries, tomatoes and lettuce - so good! Now, if only my kids would eat this stuff. Siiigggghhhhh.... In my dreams, I'm a gardener....

5. One more photo from the wedding of the year. This is the mother of the bride, Cindy, (center) and her baby sister, Susan (in the blue) along with me and my sisters. Cindy and Susan have 6 siblings in their family all told. Our families have a LONG history and it was just beyond amazing to be back together with them. The dancing and tomfoolery was what the doctor ordered.... and I think the prescription needs to be renewed far more frequently!

I Am From...

(Perhaps you can hear the GRRRRR! from where you are? Blogger has mysteriously decided that the 2 childhood photos I want to post with this are impossible to upload. Trust me, they are adorable. Grrrrrrr!)

On Marvy Mom Monday you may recall that I posted a piece written by my mom. It was inspired by a blog I follow, In the Trenches of Mommyhood, who was inspired by another writer who was inspired by.... Anyway, it all came from this template.

It's a great exercise for your memory and your soul so I highly recommend it. By the way, if you grew up with me (looking at you Heather & Heidi!) I would suggest NOT reading this and doing your own first. I think it would be a cool experiment to see what we have in common and also, I think it would be impossible to come up with my own after reading yours!



I am from the red felt wall paper, from Nestle's Quick and homemade bread.

I am from the top of Benton Road... haven, secluded, the view from heaven.

I am from the weeping willows, wild roses, rhubarb and impassible dirt roads; the apple trees, the lilacs and the allergies they induced.

I am from the dark Halloween walks to the cemetery and the snorting laughter and the weak bladders; from the Bardens and VanScoys and Robinsons and Hovers.

I am from the bold, funny, spotlight seekers who drink boxed wine; and the frugal, well-meaning do-rights who drink Utica Club beer.

From the “don't run the water!” and the lightning graces: “Godis goodGodisgreatandwethankHimforourfoodAmen.”

I am from the open-minded, hymn-loving, free-will-offering-at-spaghetti-suppers Episcopalians. From the rehearsal-free Christmas pageants, the matchbox cars on kneelers and the cheerios in plastic bags. From the universal stale smell of a church basements and the comfort that 'faith' does not mean 'lack of doubt'.

I'm from the hospital in Sayre, the farm in Tioga County, the Ward & VanScoy feed mills, the schools of Candor, 27 Spencer Avenue. From the Speedies on the grill and the soft serve ice cream and the July Fourth breakfasts for hundreds.

From Grandpa Barden losing his thumb after Pearl Harbor, from Dad skinny dipping in front of trespassers, from Grandpa VanScoy who died younger every time my father has a birthday.

I am from the trunk in the basement, the hard drives on computers, the VHS tapes. From the bad hair and the bad acne and the bad moods. From the victorious volleyball games and the frustrating gymnastics meets and the soaking wet track meets. From the concerts and the musicals. From the first days of school and the proms and the leaving home.

I am from gratitude and wisdom.

I am from Hope. 



If you choose to do this and wish to share, I would love to post others' "I Am From" pieces on my blog. Think about it, you could be a STAR! (Okay, you could have upwards of 50 people read it... )

Chocolate

I have been without dark chocolate chips in the house since Saturday. It's KILLING me. Mind you, I have not been without chocolate. I had a glass of chocolate milk yesterday. And there's still a bunch of mini candy bars left over from the Candor trip in April..... So I've been destroying those.

And yet, I feel so out of sorts without these dark chocolate chips. I eat them every morning in my oatmeal. I eat them throughout the day when I need to do something other than bang my head against the wall or scream at small children. I eat them with sun butter. I eat them in cold cereal. I eat them in every way imaginable. They are - at times - my best friend.

I am constantly hungry. I am constantly cranky. I am constantly trying to think of what will fill the void.

My normal diet of 9.000 lbs of chocolate chips a week does not seem to have a negative effect on my physical fitness/well being. I weigh about a buck twenty pretty consistently. In the last 3 days without chocolate chips I've actually GAINED weight, probably due to searching for a substitute for my dear, precious, dark chocolate chips.

So, you say, why would I deny myself? And I'll tell you: Love.

Scott can't stay away from them either. He's been in the habit of eating them every night with peanut butter. His life-of-service does not allow him to selfishly get up at scary o'clock to workout. Therefore, when HE eats the chocolate chips, they really add up. And so, last Friday night as we were discussing the shopping list, he said "How 'bout NOT getting more chocolate chips."

I thought it was kidding.

He wasn't.

And so, for My Love.... I suffer.

Happy, positive post #3

It's Christmas Day! I have 2 boys in my house who are thrilled at their bounty... despite not receiving a DSI or the Rudolph book or the dozens of other things on their wish lists that were not to be this year. They are mostly independent, mostly happy, mostly healthy and mostly just the greatest.

Garlic soup is simmering. Asparagus is going in the oven. Modified stuff shells (did you know you actually have to have SHELLS to make stuffed shells??... DUHHHH!) are done and cooling. Starting the carrots now. Pumpkin chocolate pie is done and promises to be the death of me and my girlish figure. Man, I love food!

AND, I got not one but TWO "Run Like a Mother"-inspired shirts from my fella. Looking forward to 2 long, slow hours on the roads tomorrow.

Life is Good. Merry Christmas. Here's to 365 "Happy & Positive Posts" in 2011.

Happy, positive post #2

Two in one day!? Yes, it's amazing, but I have found another outrageously wonderful thing to write about today.

I just planned out Christmas breakfast and dinner. And now I am SOOOO excited for the food portion of the holiday.

Breakfast:
quiche
pancakes (w/ chocolate chips, natch)
fruit salad
"Good Morning" muffins (these probably won't get eaten first thing, but since it's going to be a LONG day between breakfast and dinner, I'm counting on them to hold the kids over during the afternoon).

Dinner:
dinner rolls
garlic soup
stuff shells
carrots
asparagus
chocolate pumpkin pie

I love planning special meals that I know will be SOOOO delicious. I can't wait!

Here's to always feeling "broke" but being able to afford this kind of feast!