Ch ch ch changes

It's been a long while since I last posted. And boy, howdy! there's plenty to report. So, I will do an injustice to all the excitement in my life by summing things up here.

We had Gabriel's baptism last Sunday. It was FABULOUS. Our rector is retiring from our parish as of July 1st so we feel very lucky he was able to squeeze us in. (I, in fact, scheduled the dunking of #3 before he was even born... which I thought of as bad luck for sure... but it looks like everything worked out!) Randy has been leading our church since just after the Resurrection (or maybe 1978?) so this is a HUGE change (#1) for the congregation. He also happens to be (along with Bishop Robinson) THEEE reason I found myself back in the pews after so many years away. My father-in-law, a non-church goer himself, says if he lived here he'd go to church, too, because he admires Randy so much. THAT'S sayin' something!

Gabe likes Randy so much he'd like to nurse!

We had a pretty big crowd: Scott's parents (who were meeting Gabe for the first time), my parents (my Dad meeting Gabe for the first time) and my sister, Heather, and her family (all of whom were meeting Gabe for the first time). So, obviously, this was a "big reveal" for the little dude. He was SOOOO happy to have so many eager, loving arms to hold him. His days were exceptionally peaceful, as were mine, since I basically just had to feed him when he got hungry. He's definitely a snuggle bug and happiest when his in the arms of an adore-er.

Hail, hail the gang's all... (well, not even CLOSE to all... but a nice subsection of the gang's) here!

My sister brought her 3 youngest kids (her eldest is in college) and I get a little choked up just thinking about how amazingly the kids get along together. We lucked out weather-wise so the 5 of them (Gabe was not game... spoil sport!) spent allll day outside creating Zombie-Proof forts and playing hide 'n seek and swinging and generally have a fantastic time together. I think it helps that I have boys and she has girls (twins Annie & Sophie, age 9, & Tessa, age 8) as I think this removes some of the one ups manship that might occur if they were the same gender. Although.... maybe it doesn't matter. All I know is that they adore each other and it gives me no end of pleasure to see them romp around.

Cousin fun at the playground.

Cousin fun on a mini-hike. They're all so reserved and shy....

Happy as he was with all the lovin', Gabe still seems to have tummy troubles. So, I have changed (#2) my diet fairly drastically, based on Dr. Sears' recommendations. (Thanks to Bobbi for the web link!) I have eliminated dairy, caffeine, soy, peanuts, chocolate, citrus, wheat, chicken, beef (as a vegetarian, this is obviously not a sacrifice!), eggs, nuts, corn, broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, onions, green peppers, and tomatoes.

WOW, right? I had to make a list of foods I COULD eat in order to convince myself that I wasn't going to starve to death. I have been eating Rice Chex, coconut milk and fruit for breakfast. For lunch and dinner I've been eating quinoa, brown rice, sweet potatoes, avocados (with apologies to Barbara Kingsolver and all she taught me in "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle"), peas, sunbutter, chick peas and all manner of fruit. I am sprinkling chia seeds on and in as much of my food as possible in order to get the nutritional benefits it offers.

I think, by the way, that he is feeling a little less gassy: he still HAS plenty of gas but it doesn't involve as much pain and pushing to get it out. I am on day 3.5 of this and need to maintain this strict diet for 2 weeks. Then I can work foods back in and see how he reacts. While I would love to head back in with chocolate first, I think I have to give wheat a chance... living without bread and pasta is tough around here! (You gluten free folks have my sympathies!)

As far as my own feelings, I am surprisingly un-hungry. As in, less hungry than I am when I eat whatever I want. I have sort of an "empty" feeling, though that is almost certainly psychological. And I know my legs don't feel very fresh, even after a rest day. I have lost a pound or two (not that I'm really trying) but I'm kind of surprised I haven't lost more, given how low-cal my diet is now compared to my normal carb/chocolate fest! We'll see how things look in 12 or so more days. I am a little concerned about getting good fueling for my long runs, but thankfully I don't have any scheduled beyond 8 miles for the next two weeks. Trying to crank out double digits with this diet would be very hard for me.

As of now I would, by the way, kill for a hot fudge sundae.... but maybe this break from crappy food will get that monkey off my back. Oh, and at least I can drink wine. One glass with dinner makes me feel like there are still some fun things I can have.

Only in my dreams....

On Tuesday, Megan and her kiddos, Max (age 3) and Sydney (age almost 5 months), visited and bore the gift (well, a loan, anyway!) of a Moby Wrap. Holy schmoley. We are changing (#3) from using the sling, (which was useful and fine but he seemed to slip out of place a bit) to the Moby Wrap and life.is.GOOD! Gabriel totally digs being snuggled up (as noted during baptism weekend) but this Mama has got STUFF to do. The Moby allows me to be hands-free and do (almost) everything I need to do... minus the fussing and crying that would pop up when he was on his own in the bouncy seat or on the play mat. (Lookitme bein' all Attachment Parenting and junk!) Will this indulging his need for contact bite me in the butt later on? I have no idea... but for now, I am enjoying the peaceful baby that rests comfortably with me for long stretches during the day.

MC Phoebe be Baby Wrappin', wickedy, wickedy wack. Yo.

Sydney's totally over her Moby and lovin' her Ergo Ride... Thanks, Syd!

I tried to make my own Moby Wrap by buying material at Joanne's and wrapping it following YouTube instructions. Don't bother. This is a much cheaper option but you will never find the soft, stretchy, SPF material Moby has and you will just wind up cutting it into pieces and dying it to create Ninja costumes for Elliott's 6th birthday party. Well, maybe you won't do THAT exactly, but you get the idea. (It was a great party, by the way! We celebrated a week early because of so many family members in town for the baptism.) I guess you could say Elliott is changing (#4) into a 6-year-old on Saturday.

Of course the 40-ish moms are the ones who most enjoyed the ninja get ups. We got the moves like Bruce Lee.

Finally, tomorrow (or maybe next week... jury is still out if I'll be needed) is my last day as a daycare provider. This is by far the biggest change (#5) in my life - other than the birth of Gabriel - in almost 5 years. I told myself from the start (fall 2008) that I would do daycare until Elliott was in school full time. The birth of #3 makes sticking with it more appealing, but I need to make a change. As a dear Mother Runner friend said (I'll keep her nameless in case she doesn't wish to be quoted here), "It seems like running a daycare makes you hide your light under a bushel." I'm grateful for social media because I definitely wouldn't have felt I was shining ANY light if it weren't for my online nonsense over these 4 long years.... but she did sum it up fairly well there.

Two of my original daycare buddies with T & E. Winter 2009. They were 4 & 2 at the time. How far we've come!

So, while dropping a job that would allow me to stay home with my little baby seems straight-up stupid, the opportunities that I am pursuing would resolve a few challenges my family faces right now... But I won't go into that unless and until I have a position lined up and the ink has dried.
 And certainly there will be posts about the changes we will be facing after that gets resolved!

Tomorrow is the last day of school and kindergarten promotion. Hopefully I'll blog about that before, say, September!!

Hope your changes are going well. And a final shout out to Dede, who's changing into a Warrior Goddess as we speak. Way to go, Dede. You ROCK!

Scolded: Tough Grrrl on Hold

Yesterday was the boys' first day back to school after April vacation. It was an odd start as they also had a dentist appointment. So, they went to school for about 45 minutes and then I had to pick them up. We go to a pediatric dentist and it is kind of a haul (1 hour + south) from our house, which means at least 1/2 a day of school is missed. Blessedly, Gabriel snoozed like a champion all the way down, had a hearty "snack" during the cleanings, and pretty much slept through our stop for lunch and the drive back to T's school.

(Also blessedly, Tommy & Elliott did very well with the appointment. They are fairly 'sensitive' to strong flavors and don't like anything stronger than Tom's of Maine Strawberry kids' toothpaste... which makes normal toothpastes way too "spicy" for them... which makes them gag, complain, sit up & cough, etc. when they have dentist appointments. I had a blinding flash of the obvious before their appointment yesterday and brought some of their favored toothpaste with me so the hygenists could use it instead. WIN! They did great. Well, after Elliott was reminded how to handle the water/Mr. Thirsty situation. I am surprised they don't review that with kids as small as he is before they get going... not like he does this everyday!)

Anyway.

We got back to the school and went home to collapse, right? Nope. I had my follow-up appointment with my midwife at 1:45. This office is 30 minutes north of our house and we had exactly enough time to get there. Again, Gabriel remained calm and cool in his carseat and I plugged him in as soon as we arrived. (Where upon he had the most heinous gas and loudest poops known to human kind! Note to self: maybe no more chili for awhile!)

I made the mistake of telling my midwife 2 things: A) My schedule for that day; and B) The kind of alarming-sized clots that I passed when we stopped for lunch. She looked at me and said, "You need to stop. You need to stop. You need to STOP." She says the clots are my body's way of telling me I am over doing it and she thinks I am at high risk for mastitis returning. (Good thing I didn't tell her I have gone running a couple of times, huh?) 

Her advice was that for the rest of the week as soon as Scott gets home from work, I need to park my butt on the couch and do NOTHING. This is a bit frustrating (to say the least) as even with the blood clots I had, I feel fine. Not terribly exhausted and certainly no pain. I had planned to use my last daycare-kid-free days to get in a couple of workouts during the day. (Still not up for the 5AM business!) But, I am heeding her warning. Mostly. I did relax a good deal last evening. It's not in my DNA to truly do nothing, but I figure if I do "relatively nothing", I will be pretty well off.

But my mind refuses to wander to far from running and races. It is "that" time of year and there's always a 5- or 10K around the corner I could be doing. I'm trying to think of that as a good thing ("hey, there'll be more in 2 weeks if you can't do one this weekend!") instead of a bad thing ("hey, think of all the great little races you're missing!). In the past I didn't race a ton so it's weird that I feel like I'm missing it.... I think I'm seeing many more friends (and friends of friends) posting photos and results of races this spring than ever before and that's the cause of my discontent.

I am determined to chill.

And now, for no particular reason and without any connection to the rest of this blog post: a few photos of an outing we took last week to the Children's Museum of Meredith. We were LITERALLY the only people there. (It's a pay by honor system...)

Bubbles rock.

Rube Golberg-esque ball room. My photos didn't do it justice but it's a VERY cool display of the laws of physics.

Lincoln Logs inside a log house. Clever.

Long Distance Relationships

At 4AM I was lying in bed and having a wide-awake fantasy. My heart rate was elevated. My breath got faster. I just couldn't wait for the reunion that I was anticipating. It's been a long time and never far from my mind. Oh, it may bring some challenges and there will some disappointments when the reality of the not-so-fresh relationship becomes an everyday encounter, but I am so eager to start again.

Yes. I'm talking about running.

And I decided that being away from running when it has become an integral part of your life is much like having a long distance relationship. (And I'll admit now that I am far, far too proud of the term "long distance relationship" as it refers to the space between sweethearts and the distance this mama longs to run... if you want to include it in your best selling book on running you are welcome to it. Just remember me in the acknowledgements!)

When you are in a long distance relationship (and Scott & I were for quite a long time when we were dating) there's pretty much nothing you can do about it: jobs or school or family or finances (and many times a combination of those things) make it impossible for you to be together.

When your long distance relationship is with running (and it's been a good 5-months since I've done what I would consider any serious running) there's pretty much nothing you can do about it: physical health (knock'd upped-ness in many cases) stands in your way.

When you are in a long distance relationship, you think back lovingly on the times when you were together and wonder why you didn't appreciate them more. You re-live the joys of having a simple dinner together and holding hands watching a movie. This person gave you a purpose for making an effort with how you dress and getting your hair cut. And it made you feel loved, which doesn't suck.

When your long distance relationship is with running, you think back lovingly on the easy runs and the long runs and the hard core track workouts and the peeing in the woods stories and wonder why you didn't appreciate them more. You re-live the joys of having a training schedule scratched out on a calendar next to your bed and stinky sports bras hanging from the towel rack in the bathroom. Running gave you a purpose for making an effort to eat well and get plenty of rest. And it made you feel badass, which doesn't suck.

When you are in long distance relationship, you can get angry at the person for being far away. Even if it's nobody's fault. The phone calls can become tedious. The plans for visits need to get switched around. You know the love is there, but wonder why it has to be so hard. And if a short visit has any sour patches, they seem to taint the relationship more because there's no time together to work it out.

When you are in a long distance relationship with running, you can get angry for the time away from your passion. You worked hard and put a lot of effort to get your legs and lungs in best-of-your-life shape and now... Poof! Gone gone gone. You will be starting at Square One (or Square Two at best) where an "easy 3-miler" is an oxymoron and deciding list minute to jump into a 10K or half marathon would be suicide. Can you do this again? AND have a brand new baby? AND care for those other two kids you made? AND spare some energy for that guy who lives at your house you see sometimes? AND get back to work wiping other babies' bottoms and noses and faces?

Holy crap, I'm exhausted just putting those thoughts into words. Better buckle my seat belt.

In either form of long distance relationship you've gotta wonder: is it/he/she worth it? am I worth it? am I remembering this person/running accurately? maybe they aren't so great? or maybe they are even BETTER than I give them credit for? what will it be like when we are together again?

I have no idea if this will ever be a running blog again. For those of you who came on board to read about running, I apologize for it being so NOT about running anymore. I am really, really looking forward to finding out how things will go when I hit the road again. And you can bet every footfall will be recorded here. So, I hope you'll stay tuned a few more weeks when I promise, Runner Pheeb will be back.... in some form or another!

She'll be back... Someday... With just an extra pair of hands to hold!

So. That's what happens in my head at 4AM on a Saturday when I am 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

What's on YOUR mind?

Parents v. Activities: How do you do it??

I am the proud owner of two of the least-scheduled kids in the world. Well, not always proud, as sometimes their lack of interest and enthusiasm for extracurricular activities embarrasses me.

Last night my boys had an introductory class in karate and they really enjoyed it. They were pretty funny, actually, as my FB status update and follow-up comment show:

Karate + Giessler Boys = hilarious. Wish I had video taped their intro class.

This was just the 2 of them and the sensei. They both let their quirky stream of consciousness roll through out AND couldn't take their eyes off themselves in the giant mirror... Fancy new "gi" and all! I'm surprised they want to go back, as I think they expected to come out of it as Ninja Masters!

 

The sensei would like them both to start up on Mondays & Wednesdays at 4PM. A not unreasonable schedule. School gets out at 3:20 and this dojo (is it really a dojo? is that how you even SPELL dojo?? I'm going with yes to all...) is only about 10 or 15 minutes from school, depending on ice and frost heaves and mud. (Ahhh, New Hampshire in springtime!) But when I found out their classes start at 4PM my palms started to sweat and my heart began to race. 

 

For me, 4PM is too early. I began to think, "I wish I was like all those other parents who have no problem getting their kids to after school activities." And THEN I began to think, "Wait a minute. How the hell DO "normal" parents get their kids to after school activities like this??" 

 

Because here's my understanding of what "normal" parents have going on:

• Normal parents work until a lot later than "after school"... don't they? 
• Normal parents have a nice-sized commute to their jobs.... don't they?
• Normal parents have to put their kids in after school care.... don't they?
• Normal parents work all summer and during school vacations... don't they?

 

So I re-thought my racing heart and sweaty palms and felt thankful that I merely had to send a long, convoluted email requesting early or alternate pick up locations for the daycare kids. It's still a huge pain in the ass for me and especially for the parents whose kids are in my care, but they help me out. (Or, so far they have, anyway!) They give me the go-ahead to drag their kids to my midwife appointments and to my own kids' appointments. They give me the go-ahead to drop off their kids at school (where they, thankfully, work as teachers). They have busy lives with busy kids and understand how it is.... So I remember how lucky I am.

Maybe my perception of the world is wrong. Maybe there is a quiet army of stay-at-home parents who are readily available for any and all activities their kids want to do. Maybe this same quiet army is secretly wealthy beyond my dreams ('cuz just karate alone is a serious strain on our budget!) and money is no object when it comes to activities. 

I'm not an idiot. I know there's no such thing as "normal" parents. Each family figures this stuff out as it comes in a way that works for them. Maybe most families have a stronger support system around them with grandparents or other relatives who can do some of the toting from place to place (Oh, the envy I have for families with nearby in-laws!!) Maybe most families have made better use of their social skills and have connected with willing carpool-ers. 

But really.... REALLY!.... How do YOU do it? Or, how DID you do it?? Because I can't imagine this facet of our lives getting any LESS busy.

P.S. Baby TOP will graduate from high school in 2030. Talk about a long-term problem!!