Oh, Mama, how do you do it?!

If you've followed my blog for awhile, you probably already know that I have the world's greatest mother. For quite a while I had a weekly "Marvy Mom Monday" feature that started as a tribute to her and then became about all kinds of great moms I know and love. I am continually amazed at her ability to save the day for the people in her life, related or not. 

She came to town last Friday night to help celebrate my 40th and she stuck around to help take care of me, the kids and the house after the operation. All week she has reminded me to take my meds, prepared meals, cleaned up and (most exhaustingly) taken care of the increasingly cranky toddler that lives at my house. (He could go to daycare but she loves having this time with him so she has kept him home with us while the boys were at school.) Gabe is adorable but having me down-for-the-count is really hard on him. I am not the same Mom and he just doesn't dig it. He is prone to full blown freak outs pretty easily and no amount of rationalization, time outs, hugs, snacks, drinks, toys... will knock him out of it. 

Today was The Day of Days and as I write this I honestly can't believe she (we!) survived it. Scott's theater kids were hosting a day-long festival at his school so he left the house before 6AM. Tom had a long-ago-scheduled follow up appointment with a specialist across the state from us that we just couldn't miss. Because I can't drive yet (and because "They" frown on leaving 7- and not-quite-2-year-olds at home alone all day long) the journey involved Tom, Mom, Me, Elliott and Senor Cranky Pants Himself. The day looked like this:

If I'm ever half as good as she is, I'll be twice as good as I deserve.

5AM - Up, shower, dress, pack up.

5:45 - Get kids up and into car.

6AM - Leave

6:20 - Dunkin Donuts stop (had to have SOMETHING sweet to promise the kids for the ridiculous wake  up hour! Yeah. For "the kids".)

8:20 - Arrive at appointment (25 minutes early! Woo hoo!)

8:21 - Gabe has meltdown #1. Does not want to get out of the car. I, on crutches, cannot lift him nor carry him. He will not walk. Gungah carries him in.

8:25 - I check Tom in. Gabe begins relentless racing around medical facility. I hobble helplessly after him because, well, this is not a playground after all. Gungah's on it.

8:35 - Tom and I get called in. Gabe continues his assault on humanity.

9:00 - Appointment over, but a same-day follow up is scheduled for 1:30. (In other words, we now need to kill time in a part of the state unknown to us)... Gabe is lying on floor of waiting room in full blown toddler epic freak out mode. We try "Bye, Gabe, we're going" and start to walk out the door without him but he's not buying it. Poor Gungah has to pick him up and carry him as he battles against her to the car.

9:03 - World Wrestling Entertainment signs Gungah as a new act after watching her pin the insanely-strong-limbed Gabe into his carseat. 

9:15 - We arrive at "A Mall" as defined by Siri... but it's a plaza, not an inside mall where it would be easy to kill a couple of hours. Instead, we wander through a Party City (minor meltdowns but nothing serious) and Game Stop (he was mostly okay here, too, though my knee was killing me so I headed to the car a few minutes before the rest of the crowd).

10:15 - Round 2 of Wrestlemania, Carseat Edition. Gungah wins, but it's starting to wear her out.

10:25 - Siri told me about a book store nearby. We head there and Gungah discovers the solution to all of our Toddler Problems: Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood. She finds a stuffed Daniel, a trolley and a few of the other characters that can ride in the trolley and decides, immediately, that it's time for Gabe to get his 2nd birthday present from her. Ta da!

11:15 - Gabe holds Daniel Tiger and fairly happily gets into the carseat.

11:20 - Applebees for lunch. The birthday gifts are the perfect solution. He eats his lunch and we all get to relax a little. Yay, Daniel Tiger!

12:30 - Back to the car. Not the flawless execution of the last entrance, but he does okay.

12:50 - Parking garage of second appointment. Gabe has fallen asleep on the ride. He is DONE. He wants NO MORE of this ridiculous outing. Will not walk. Will not cooperate in any way at all. We have two seperate elevator rides to get to the correct floor. Pooor Gungah!

1:00 - Blessedly, the waiting area of this doctor's office is made for kids. There are no other patients there so Gabe and his brothers have their run of the place and plenty rocking horses and other cool things to play on and look at. And of course, he has the Trolley and Daniel Tiger & Friends. He's mostly happy here... but SO very tired!

1:15 - Tom goes in for some testing.

1:40 - Tom comes out and I go into talk to the doctor.

2:00 - I come out. Gabe is whiney and then realizes we are going somewhere - AGAIN - and he's just done. Fit of fits. Scream of screams. And, again, absolutely nothing I can do for him. Once again, my 71-year-old mother has to take this violent beast and get his NO NO NO-self into the car. It's just awful. And there's nothing I can do about it.

2:05 - The long drive home. He freaks out for the first part. Calms down. Then the boys and Gungah get out to get a snack and he freaks out again. And then he eats a couple of pretzle sticks. Screams a bit. And finally goes to sleep. Then I canNOT hold it so we have to stop about 30 minutes from home and he wakes up in order to scream all.the.way.home. 

5PM - We arrive home. I collapse on the couch, take a pain pill, and Gungah, against all reason, manages to pick up after us, heat up dinner, and get Gabe into his PJs for bed.

5:15 - Gabe spends the evening snuggled up on my chest, flirting lovingly with Gungah, and being a complete angel. He is not the same boy. He is perfection.

7:30PM - Gungah and Gabe go to bed.

I cannot believe we survived the day. I am feeling very lucky, if tired. I don't know what I would do without my mom. But, ummm, yeah, I'm still not cleared for work and so that darling Gabe? He's TOTALLY going to daycare next week!

P.S. I'm sure you are like, "Uh, what about this doctor's appointment? On a Saturday? That's weird." Yep. It is kind of weird. It's more a data-gathering mission than anything. More about it at some point if sharing seems like the right call. For now, rest assured, we are all fit as fiddles and healthy as horses. 

Marvy Bread Monday:

As requested, below is the recipe for the bread I make once or twice a week. I have copied and pasted it from the original website (allrecipes.com) but naturally I have my own commentary, which I include parenthetically and in italics.

Ingredients

• 3 cups warm water (110 degrees F/45 degrees C) (for cripes sake, just make it HOT water. If you actually use a thermometer I will probably punch you).
• 2 (.25 ounce) packages active dry yeast (I buy my yeast in a jar because it's a little less expensive, so I use 3 teaspoons. And as my Mama always says, "do NOT use Quickrise yeast)
• 1/3 cup honey (I never measure this any more. I eyeball it and therefore get a variety of sweetness from each batch. After you make the recipe a few times, save yourself one sticky measuring cup to measure and fake it).
• 5 cups bread flour (I only use 4 and replace one with ground flax seed or chia seeds. This gives the bread more texture and makes it healthier, too.)
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted (When I thought I had this recipe memorized, I remembered it as 5 Tbs.... so now I use 4 as a compromise. Somewhere between 3 & 5 is fine).
• 1/3 cup honey (You're not really going to measure it, are you??)
• 1 tablespoon salt (I don't measure this either. I give small children 10 shakes from the salt shaker or I fill up the center of their palm with enough to make them think they are helping...)
• 3 1/2 cups whole wheat flour (This is TOTALLY a guess-timate. You'll use what makes it work!)
• 2 tablespoons butter, melted (Bah! You just rub the stick of butter over the top to get a good coating. I have no idea how much it is, but I'm thinking it's way less than 2 Tbs.)

Directions

1. In a large bowl, mix warm water, yeast, and 1/3 cup honey. Add 5 cups white bread flour, and stir to combine. Let set for 30 minutes, or until big and bubbly. (The time on this is WAY up for grabs. I normally let it sit less than 30 minutes. Let it sit long enough to change the laundry around, make a snack and change a diaper or two. That should do it!)
2. Mix in 3 tablespoons melted butter, 1/3 cup honey, and salt. Stir in 2 cups whole wheat flour.  (They say "stir in" but you should definitely use a mixer if you've got a good one). Flour a flat surface and knead with whole wheat flour until not real sticky - just pulling away from the counter, but still sticky to touch. This may take an additional 2 to 4 cups of whole wheat flour. Place in a greased bowl, turning once to coat the surface of the dough. Cover with a dishtowel. Let rise in a warm place until doubled.
3. Punch down, and divide into 3 loaves. Place in greased 9 x 5 inch loaf pans, and allow to rise until dough has topped the pans by one inch. (We use this bread primarily for sandwiches, so I suggest you err on the side of a "flatter" bread if that's what you want to use it for. That nice fluffy kind is delicious but doesn't hold onto peanut butter without falling apart).
4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 25 to 30 minutes; do not over bake. (I ALWAYS over bake... setting my timer for 35 minutes). Lightly brush the tops of loaves with 2 tablespoons melted butter or margarine when done to prevent crust from getting hard. Cool completely.

And, there it is. Follow this recipe and you will have yummy bread for ever and a day!

Marvy Mom Monday: Val Houck edition

Bob and Val, Christmas 2009

A spare Mom. Almost every girl I know has one. Usually it's a best friend's mother who makes you feel like part of the family. She is probably slightly more tolerant of the nonsense of young girls when you're around, but you (and your parents) know you are safe in her home to be a little wild while knowing limits will be set.

For me, that Mom was Valerie Houck. Okay, DOROTHY Valerie Houck, but I didn't know her first name was Dorothy until I was 15 or 16... Then we incessantly called her "Dot" or "Department of Transportation" or "Polka" or... well, you get the idea. Bless her, she chortled at our relentless puns on her given name and never once did what I think I would have done: lost my sh*t and said, "ENOUGH!" See what I  mean about tolerant?

Val's daughter, Kristin, was my best friend from the time we were in Mrs. Telford's first grade class together. (Marvy Mom Monday fans may remember Mrs. Telford's daughter-in-law, Chris, from a previous post. Small town, I tell ya!) Kristin's life fascinated me because she was, for all intense and purposes, an only child. She had grown up half siblings (okay, they were probably like 18 or 20, but that was full-on adult to a 6-year-old!) who were out of the nest by the time she and I became friends. Going to her house was ah-MAY-zing because there was no one there to argue with about what channel to watch or who took whose seat on the couch or any of that stuff that comes from growing up with 64,000 siblings (give or take). Kristin, of course, also loved to come to our house for the same-yet-opposite reasons: the novelty of a never-ending supply of spare siblings was a nice change from what I suppose must have been a sometimes lonely Only Child existence.

Val and Bob (Kristin's dad) were always happy to have me or most any of Kristin's friends spend time at the house. Random flashbacks of times with Kristin that should have driven her parents completely bonkers include:

• our mocking of their love of polka music, which we played loudly on their honest-to-God 8-track player 

• identifying skeevy guys and referring to them as "loin burners" - a phrase which Val adopted herself and used with a familiar twinkle in her eye

• dressing up in (and being horribly judgmental about!) Val's finest polyester pant suits for 70's day at school

• finding Val's HS yearbook and peeing our pants over the comments from her peers... including the one from my Mom who wrote "I'll always remember our gay times in the woods." OH MAN! Obviously that didn't mean the same thing in 1960 as it did in 1989 or so. We never recovered fully from the hilarity of that one!

• a birthday party in 3rd grade when one somewhat notoriously sensitive attendee began to bawl hysterically because her whistle-shaped lollipop broke; I can't remember exactly what Val said but it was akin to, "Oh, Janey, get over it!"

That last one shocked me and gave me an internal fit of giggles because I finally realized where Val's breaking point was: spoiled brattiness! Of course the list could go on for days, but these give you the flavor of the laid back and kind Mama we are talking about.



Val spent the last year-and-a-half or so battling cancer. She and her family went through hell with a frightening diagnosis... which would lead to unexpected recoveries.... followed by mysterious symptoms.... alleviated by surgeries and meds and good old fashioned love... Her medical team deemed that life saving options were all tapped out and she went to hospice. There, the atmosphere of "sleep when you want, eat what you want, get out of bed when and if you want...." was the exact "medicine" she needed. Yes, Val "graduated" from hospice and went home for several months! Those of us far away but following her Caring Bridge site (from whence I filched these photos and to which I am so indebted!) were in awe of her comeback, but not really surprised. I can't imagine how those in the thick of it must have felt.

Val's sister, Jean (right), had her own battle with cancer. Here you can see the good humor and strength which helps this amazing family cope. (I personally would have gone with a lime green boa and bright red wig but I suppose their options were limited!)

But, untreatable cancer is untreatable cancer. And this morning, Val passed away peacefully - back at hospice - with her family by her side. Her niece, Denise, reports that Val told the nurse on Saturday "I'm going home."

I am so sad for my dearest girlhood friend. I am so sad for Bob. I am so sad for everyone who knew and loved Val and whose hearts will ache for her always and forever. I am, though, glad to know that she is at last at peace and "home".

Val, thanks for the millions of laughs. The thousands of free meals. The hundreds of overnight accommodations. And thanks for creating and nurturing the best best friend a little girl could have.

Val, Bob & Kristin. August 2010. Kristin is expecting her first baby this May. It's a girl...

I wouldn't be who I am today without Dorothy Valerie (Strong) Houck. And I'm just one of thousands who can say that.

P.S. In case you didn't think my world was small enough, Val is the aunt of Kelly Ward Spivey, also of Marvy Mom Monday fame!

Marvy Mom Monday: Mediocre Edition

I FINALLY wrote up my boys' "Year in Review" to go in their Christmas Jars. It's funny to have them help me come up with ideas because they have short memories and don't want to include stuff they enjoyed doing or events that happened at the beginning of the year, since that was SOOO long ago!

So, to conclude the Marvy Mom Holiday Ideas for this year, here are this year's write ups. Mediocre at best... but DONE! And 'round here lately, DONE is worth a lot.

This is the photo we used on T's jar. It's in the waiting room just before we found out #3 was a boy.

Date: December 2011

Name: Thomas Eric Giessler

Nickname: Tommy, T-bone

Age: 7 years, 8 months

Favorite things to do or play: Angry Birds,on Dad's school iPad (Waiting to download Angry Birds Rio “unfree”); Legos; Chess; Wii games (Wii Udraw, Lego Star Wars, Wii Sports)

Favorite books: The Secrets of Droon; Magic Tree House series (Dinosaurs Before Dark); Roscoe Riley. (Reading chapter books this year!)

Friends: Carter Houston, Cameron DeVito, Camden Orskachowski (sp?); Cole Finneron, Gage Langlois

Least favorite things to do: Pick up Ceanna from Kindergarten (she moved into Carter's old house across the street; T has decided it was HER fault his friend moved); play with E.A.

Favorite foods: Whoopie pies, pizza, Annie's mac & cheese, vanilla ice cream

Favorite movies/TV shows: The Muppets, iCarly, Angry Birds videos, Drake & Josh (We got Netflix this year....)

Big events this year: “Michael” in Village Players “A Chistmas Story”, went to William Lawrence Camp as a real camper for 2 weeks, in Kingswood Children's Summer Theatre production of “Camp Rock”, Disney World (Animal Kingdom Lodge) in February with G.G., Poppa, Uncle Todd, Jack & Ryan.

In a nutshell: He says, “Serious... I have no idea.” Curious, likes a routine, great, unique language, loves to be the comedian in school, MUCH improved handwriting/fine motor, holds a bit of grudge which pushes Mom's buttons! 

Mr. Personality, also at the doctor's office.

 

Date: December 2011

Name: Elliott Robinson Giessler

Nickname: Elliott, E-Train, El, E

Age: 5 1/2 years

Favorite things to do or play: Angry Birds on Daddy's iPad, baseball, Wii (Netflix shows, Udraw, Wii Sports), act in plays, play with new toys, go to Kindergarten

Favorite books: Clifford, Caillou, Star Wars, Cars II books

Friends: Landon, Isabella, Mommy(!), Daddy, George

Least favorite things to do: pick up the toy room, “do projects... well, I like some projects but other ones I don't like that much.”

Favorite foods: Whoopie pies, mac & cheese, broccoli, carrots, corn, oatmeal (especially with chocolate chips in it!), chocolate ice cream.

Big events this year: Started Kindergarten and LOVES it! Played Randy in A Christmas Story (to rave reviews!), Disney World (Animal Kingdom Lodge) in February, swim lessons, trip to NYS with Mom while Tommy was at camp.

In a nutshell: Purely edible and sweet; STOLE the show in A Christmas Story; small in stature but the vocabulary of an 80 year old!

Marvy Mom Monday: More Holiday Traditions

In last week's Marvy Mom post I shared a few holiday traditions my family enjoys. I asked readers to let me know what traditions you love (or tolerate!) to make this time of year special for your kids and you. The "bad" news? Even though I know ALLLLL of you have fantastic holiday traditions to share, only four of you did.The GOOD news: The four who shared get to have their gorgeous faces and complete ideas shared with my, ummm, dozens of readers. It's an honor beyond your wildest hopes, I  know!

Dede Hildreth, Marvy Mom to Thomas & Annie, said:

A Marvy Mom Holiday Tradition (started by MY marvy mom)......kids get to open ONE present on Christmas Eve. It's ALWAYS a book. It ALWAYS results in small children readin quietly. It's Christmas MIRACLE!!

Kelly Ward Spivey of the blog Kaetlyn's Korner and Grace's Place (and also one of the original Marvy Moms I featured) said: 

This is not such a Marvy Mom thing, more like a Dynamic Dad thing...every year, my Father, in the tradition of his Father before him, writes a letter to us. The letter is usually filled with good advice, poignant thoughts, challenges to go forth and make the world a better place, etc. Last year, I wrote one for Kaetlyn and intend to do this going forward for my girls. We always look forward to these letters and it's great to go back and review them as part of life's lessons from dear old Dad as you get older. (A few years ago, my Dad decided we were adults and didn't need the letters anymore...we staged a revolt and the letters have been forthcoming since!) Similar to your Santa letters, a fantastic tradition! Oh! And reading the Christmas Story on Christmas Eve. A must-do. Just sayin'! :) xo

Marvy Mom to Shelby & Phoebe (great name, huh?) Kimberly Atkins Swartz said:  

We always opened one present on Christmas Eve...it is always pjs so we don't look like ragamuffins in all of the Christmas morning pictures by the tree!

Dana of the blog Running Commentary said:

I LOVE the jar idea...too bad my kids are now 17 and 19!! We always get all the Christmas decorations out, play cheesy Christmas music while we put them all up and decorate the tree. We make hot coco, turn off all the lights, plug in the tree and admire our work. For some reason my kids LOVE this "event". We also make some cheesy ornament every year the first day of Christmas break. I also give them PJs every year which is the only present they are allowed to open on Christmas Eve (even though they know what they are getting, they love it!). I've learned one very important thing over the years--kids LOVE tradition and the first time you try to skip it there will be mutiny!

 

If it is your lifelong dream to be featured on my blog (and how can it NOT be?) send me your ideas and you'll be a Marvy Mom (or Dynamic Dad or Awesome Aunt or Caring Cousin or Fantastic Friend) is next week's post. "Don't miss out!"