500th!

Hey, Wow! This is my 500th post! That's pretty cool. Especially since I have been blog-slacking to the extreme lately. I wonder when or if I will ever go back and re-read these things. Yeah, probably exactly one minute after some horrific virus strikes Google and everything I've written is irretrievable. Shudder.

I write today after so long a break because of a couple of unrelated happy occurrences. Well, if you believe in such things, it's possible they are cosmically-related, but whatever. Don't go consulting your crystals about it or anything.

The first thing is that my dear friend Kathleen ran her first 5K today! 'What's so great about that?' you may ask. Well, many things.

I have known Kathleen for just over 10 years. (She started out as a theater acquaintance so it's easy to keep track of when I met her: we were doing Annie Get Your Gun and Tommy was just a few months old). Shortly after we met and just before we became really good friends, she had knee replacement surgery. Because of this, whenever talk of running came up she was very supportive of me and my pursuit  but was clear about herself: Can't run. Knee replacement. Not possible.

Then, of course, there is the small matter of Kathleen facing a little thing called CANCER back in 2011. Ummm, yeah. And she did not get that friendly kind of cancer where you have a little tidbit removed and a teaspoon of chemo and then you're good to go. She had knock-you-on-your-ass, scare-the-crap-out-of-you, surgery-and-chemo-from-hell, with-a-side-order-of-pulmonary-embolism for added excitement. It is not an exaggeration to say that Kathleen thought she was going to die. And while all of us who love her never spoke of it, there were many moments when we wondered, too.

Of course, Kath would jump in here and dispute, "Well, you can't call what I did really RUNNING.... Lots of people who started in waves after us caught up to us... " Yadda yadda yadda. Typical denial from a lady who deserve some Horn Tootin'! She trained hard for this event. She started out just walking the dog and then trying to run a bit as she went along. Then she got on the Couch to 5K plan. And then she made it 3 miles with some walk breaks. And THEN, last week, I got a message from her saying she RAN the WHOLE THREE MILES. That is so huge. For anyone. But for her, that is like Neil Patrick Harris Hosting the Tonys Again Huge! (Legend - wait for it - dary!)

I did my due diligence and FB stalked her enough to share these pictures. (God bless that Journalism degree. I am a pro!)

Stranger on the Left had a the perfect sign for Kathleen on the right... (who is stranger  than most but not A stranger to me!)

Kathleen's friend, Barbara, ran with her. I didn't dare commit to the event, given my bad run of luck lately. (RUN of luck... HA!)

Knowing Kathleen was cranking out a personal goal this morning was not, however, enough to inspire my lazy butt. I say lazy, but I guess after the week we had here I had a reasonable excuse. All three boys were sick this week. And not in that convenient-but-challenging all at once way. It went like this;

Monday - Gabe wakes with major boogs and fever. I stay home with him.
Tuesday - Gabe still has fever. Scott stays home with him.
Wednesday - Everyone wakes up healthy. Yay! Off we go to school.
Wednesday afternoon - Call from daycare. Gabe's fever's  back. Drat.
Wednesday night - Gabe cracks his chin open and Scott takes him to ER. (I am at play rehearsal at the time). No stitches. Just exceptional stress and steri-strips.
Thursday - Gabe is OK but Tommy wakes up with a fever. I stay home with Tommy and Gabe because, ya know, bashed open chin and fever yesterday....
Friday - Tommy still has fever. Scott stays home with Tom. And, bonus, it's Scott's birthday. So that's fun!
Saturday - Everyone is feeling OK. Woo hoo. Getting some stuff done around the house, putting away the outdoor furniture... and, uh oh. Elliott doesn't look so good. Yup. Elliott has a fever.

My running has been going OK. I've come to grips with not doing the Ultra in a couple of weeks and I will happily just enjoying my time with my running pals and being their Athletic Supporter. I am focused on Boston 2015. And I reaaalllly wanted to get in a double digit run today. It would be my first since August. But ggggaaaaawd I was so mentally exhausted from the week. And gaaawwwwwdddd I just had no give-a-damns left.

Then, the phone rang. And it was Kathleen. And she told me about her run and I thought, yeah, I need to go do that 10 miles.

So I did. Of course, of all the hilly routes I could take around here, my unplanning feet took me on the hilliest. So I trotted along at a decent pace, listening to podcasts, contemplating the universe. (That is, if you think that contemplating the fact that I knew we had no chocolate chips NOR chocolate milk ingredients in the house is equivalent to contemplating the universe...)

Thanks and big congrats to you, Kathleen! And if you do another one, remember the Age Old Rule: "Run if can. Walk if you must. But always, always, pee yourself a little."

P.S. Everyone think BQ thoughts for the great Sarah Bowen Shea tomorrow. She is one of THEE mother runners from Another Mother Runner and she is poised to do amazing things in the morning. West coast time... so don't get your fast thoughts in too early.

Thankful Thursday #1

From now until Thanksgiving I am going to dedicate Thursdays to things for which I am thankful. This should be easy because a) I'm a very lucky girl with countless reasons to be thankful, and b) it's only a few weeks away!

• This year I am especially thankful for my friend Kathleen. I'm also thankful for her family, friends, coworkers and medical team for supporting her over the last 6 months or so. She means so much to so many and it shows by the outpouring you can see on her Caring Bridge Website. I think the phrase "she's one in a million" is way overused, but I can say with great confidence that K is one in SEVEN BILLION! I look forward to my thankful post NEXT year when I can be thankful that she's feeling great, back to work and theater and all of the things that make her so awesome. But, for 2011, I am thankful she is still with us and maintains her slightly-twisted sense of humor along with her wicked smahts.

Next time we do this move, K, I want to be the base and have YOU do the cartwheel!

• I am thankful for Baby TOP. What a surprise and what a privilege to get to try this kiddo-from-scratch business one more time. So far, s/he has been treating Mama pretty well and allowed me to keep doing most of the things I love (running and theater most notably). This old girl knows that many women in much more typical maternal stages of their lives don't get off this easy. So, thanks Baby TOP!

Cute, but I hope mine doesn't have feet that proportionally monstrous!

•  I am thankful for Tommy & Elliott. They are healthy and happy and funny and weird (thank God they are weird!) They enjoy each other even though they are vastly different in many ways. I am thankful that they will be big brothers to Baby TOP. Each of them will offer unique sibling qualities. There are many things I might do differently if I had to parent them from the top, but there's nothing I would change about the Quirky Little Creatures they have become so far!

Mt. Major, Summer 2010.

Marvy Mom Monday: Kathleen Hill Edition

The most important thing you need to know (and do) right now for my dear friend, Kathleen, is send her good wishes. Whatever form you'd care to send them: prayer, meditation, Pony Express... just send them. Right this second. Seriously. Do it. I  know you may not know her yet, but right NOW, THIS second, just do it. And I'll explain.

We took separate vacations to Disney World a couple of years ago... but met up at Downtown Disney for some nonsense. She always supports me!

Okay. Thanks. Now here's the scoop.

Today (Monday, October 3) K is traveling to Dartmouth Hitchcock Hospital to have what's left of the cancer in her uterus removed. She will go into surgery around noon and will, hopefully, come out with NO MORE CANCER. Back in April, if you were following then, you may remember THIS post. It gives a sense of how scary the situation was then. And it makes me so grateful for how under control the situation seems now.

So, why is Kathleen a Marvy Mom? Oddly enough, mostly because up until just over a decade ago, she never even imagined BEING a mom. She's spent a lifetime hanging with kids and built a career around them: from camp counselor to camp director to teacher to principal to (currently) curriculum coordinator She likes them so much so even chooses to spend EXTRA time with kids as the drama director for her district's middle school. But, being a mom wasn't something she really had in mind. The idea of it, frankly, kind of terrified her.

Theater is her passion. Here are two theater "kids" she hosted in 2010 who were performing in local summer stock shows.

But, just over a decade ago, Kathleen's partner, Melinda, expressed a sincere desire to adopt a child. K did a lot of soul searching and realized that yes, she COULD take on this role, but it was not going to necessarily be a natural fit for her. And then.... she saw Jeanne's picture. As K explained to me way back, she took one look at that sweet, 3-year-old Romanian orphan face and there was no doubt in her mind: that was HER daughter. Thus was born another Marvy Mom!

Jeanne, also a theater lover, getting ready for a scene in Cinderella. Fall 2010

Life in their household went along as it does for most new parents. Getting to understand Jeanne's wants and needs, enjoying the obviously vivacious and charming personality already developed in their daughter.. and discovering after many tense hospital visits, Jeanne suffered from exceptionally high fevers that, while scary for her moms, were really okay. She can't take ibuprofen (or is it Tylenol? I can't remember) because her liver (kidneys? shoot! I can't remember!) doesn't process it well. But other than that, they had on their hands a natural dancer, gymnast, actress, singer...

Then, Melinda got breast cancer. All of this happened before I knew Kathleen so I don't know the chronology of Melinda's disease. My understanding is that she had treatments that seemed very effective and things were going really well. She was well enough that K's doctors decided she needed to have knee replacement surgery which she had been putting off in order to be available for Melinda. Then, Melinda's health got bad rapidly.

Suddenly, K was a single mom.

But as Marvy Moms do, she soldiered on. Kathleen and Jeanne marched through the months and years honoring Melinda by pursuing the things they love. Kathleen is hilarious and sharp witted and caring and has high expectations... and these things are what make her an outstanding leader in school and in community theater. These things also make her the perfect friend when you're up, down or sideways about what life is handing you. And I think Jeanne will agree, she's a plain old exceptional Mom.

Kathleen and Megan (director & stage manager) during some, uhh, downtime of Cinderella, Fall 2010. (I'm not saying we DID drink Cosmopolitans, but I'm not saying we DIDN'T, either...)

Given her history with the disease (oh, did I mention that K lost her mom to breast cancer when she was a young adult? Ugh...) you can see how finding out her own diagnosis last April would have exceeded the average feelings of pure devastating. Her sole concern was how Jeanne, this teenager with a laundry list off losses from which she's manged to bounce back so many times, would cope with this. There were some very scary times this spring. Kathleen's people rallied like no other group (except maybe Polly's People). Rides for Jeanne, meals for months on end, overnight care, cards, letters, phone calls... Team Kathleen has been fantastic.

[A special note on Al: K's brother, Al (who deserves an entire MONTH of Marvy Brother posts), uprooted himself from his "quiet" (read: well earned, golf- and grandchild-centric) retirement outside Chicago to move in with K & Jeanne. He has been the nurse, harasser, driver, smart ass, pharmacist, whipping boy, and you name it. In the beginning, his was almost always the single source of testosterone as Team Kathleen coordinated itself. He deserves a medal for that alone! I know that Al - and all those who came together for Jeanne and her - are forever in Kathleen's heart for what they have done.]

Anyway.... despite scary beginnings in which pulmonary blood clots were discovered and additional ER visits were, ahem, enjoyed, the chemo treatments have really done a number on the cancer. Blood tests show her "cancer markers" - which had been sky high - are now below normal. (Which leads me to ask, is it possible to have "less cancer" than normal?? I'm not a doctor, but that seems odd to me!) She is anxious about the surgery, of course, but is very glad to have it here and get it DONE. She'll probably spend 3 - 5 days recovering at the hospital and then 4 - 6 weeks recovering at home. After she is healed, they'll do another scan to check for any pesky remaining cancer... but HOPEFULLY there won't be any more need for chemotherapy.

An old racing bib I outfitted to wear when I race in honor of those I know fighting cancer.

So, one more time before you're done reading - and now that you know why - send up your good juju to Kathleen Hill. And don't worry, I'll keep you posted on her progress.

P.S. Al is convinced that, upon arrival, Baby TOP needs to be named Albert (though he'll settle for Alberta). He's getting a little testy since I haven't mentioned his great idea. So, Al, here you go. And, YOU'RE WELCOME!

Exhausting & great

I know it hasn't been *that* long since I've posted. But, I haven't even been reading other blogs lately, which I usually love to do. I have been completely preoccupied. And actually, I kind of HAVE been blogging because I'm keeping people posted on my friends Caring Bridge site. It's been a great way for me to feel helpful during this time of (mostly) helplessness. She's home from the hospital. I went to see her last night. She was exhausted but great...

We had the trip to Candor. I can't quite get my mind around the experience yet. Amazing theater kids. Really supportive Candor-ites, especially my parents. A great and easy going bus driver. Many adventures and memories created. Maybe another blog entry will form out of it but for now I need to do more chewing. It was, above all, exhausting and great.

"My" Boston marathon was yesterday. Which (I'm guessing) was exhausting and (I'm certain) was great. The elites had incredible times. Americans were VERY present and strong. Three cheers all the way around.

I went to bed at 11PM last night, having returned pretty late from getting K settled from the hospital, and got up at 4:30AM for a track workout. I forgot my iPod but am so glad I went. After a weekend of just 1 (straight up hill) 2.5 miler, it was exhausting but great.

Today is TOMMY'S SEVENTH BIRTHDAY! He wants Annie's Mac & Cheese and chicken nuggets for dinner. I can handle that. My sister got him an amazing Star Wars kite so hopefully the rain will hold off and we'll get to take that out for an inaugural flight. He's sure to be wound way up so our night will be, certainly, (drum roll) exhausting and great.

Glad

Glad it is really Spring now.
Glad we had our first Puddle Boots Day today.
Glad we heard the deep-voiced frogs that hang out in the woods behind our back yard last night.
Glad we had our first Bubble Blowing today.
Glad there's ALMOST no snow left on the decks of the house.
Glad I got up at 4:30 to do a track workout - my first attempt at Scary O'clock at the track.
Glad I'll be seeing my family and Polly's People in just a few days.
Glad Tommy won't have to endure Saturday school this week... it's a FULL day!
Glad Elliott seems truly excited about the idea of Kindergarten.
Glad we are looking at family vacation options for mid-June.

But.... still sad and a little mad at the Universe.

It might be Darfur.

Megan (Stage Manager), Kathleen (Director) & me (Assistant Director) between performances of Cinderella. November 2010.

I met my friend Kathleen thanks to theater. Among a million other things, she is a great performer and an even more outstanding director. I jokingly refer to her as "The Controversial Genius" because she's just really, really good.

Kathleen and I have a little saying when things aren't going our way. Whether one of our kids is behaving in a way that makes us nuts, or we're annoyed about jobs, or we're not feeling well, or our cars have broken down. We say "It's not Darfur." Because really, whatever we have going on... it's NOT Darfur.

Kathleen has ovarian cancer. She is a single mom to an amazing 13-year-old. Six years ago she lost her partner to breast cancer. She was supposed to go to Dartmouth Hitchcock Hospital today to begin the plan of removing it and making sure it stayed away.

That was Plan A. We are well onto Plan E or F or G...

Last night I decided to pop over to her house - it's about a 30 minute drive - with a "car care package" for the first of many road trips she was going to be making to Hanover, NH. It's kind of a haul from her house. I made a card and decorated a shoe box with paintings the boys had done. I bought a Vanity Fair with (a steamy, shirtless) Rob Lowe on the cover, threw in some Tic Tacs, granola bars, a bottle of water, cross word puzzles... you get the idea. I knew she was extremely anxious so the plan was to pop in, give her a hug, make sure her ducks were in a row for tomorrow (oh, yes, it's tech week for the musical she is doing with middle school students) and take off.

When I arrived, I knocked on the side door and got no answer so I peeked my head in. Lisa - a teacher friend - was there cleaning up a storm. I could see from the look in her eyes that this was not going to be a quick visit. Jeanne was at school with her theater friends and parents to set up the stage, props, etc. for the show. Lisa said that Kathleen was not feeling too good and suggested I pop into Kathleen's room and check in with her.

It was dark in there. Kathleen was on the bed and told me in a very worried voice that she had been down and out all day. Her chest hurt and she was having trouble breathing. She thought it was anxiety about the appointment, but it just wasn't easing up. I was *sure* it was anxiety, too. (Hey, I've seen enough made-for-tv movies to know that a panic attack looks and feels very much like a genuine heart attack.) So I sat with her and talked awhile. We talked about being scared for Jeanne and talked about not knowing, really, what was coming next. We talked about theater. I hugged her and rubbed her shoulder. (Note: Don't rub her shoulder. It annoys her. But I kept forgetting and it seemed to be my go-to empathy touch! Oy!)

Before my arrival, a call had been made to her doctor, who was not on duty, so we were waiting to hear from the on-call doc. At about 9:00 Jeanne was back from the school, Kathleen had roused herself enough to give Jeanne some instructions on the play ("Make sure so-and-so has the CD, make sure so-and-so knows where his props are and doesn't break them...."). I felt fairly comfortable because she was, though tired for sure, acting like a woman who had a show going up this week. She was being Kathleen. I helped Jeanne and Lisa make the fold out couch into a bed for Diane Booty, who was on her way to spend the night there. I went down to say good night to Kathleen and chirped "Last call for sarcastic comments for the night!" She was sound asleep and I was relieved and drove home concerned but not panicked.

At just before 11PM the phone rang. It was Megan, another theater friend. She had seen a post on Facebook from Jeanne about an ambulance and police officers in her house. She immediately got in touch with Jeanne and learned that Kathleen was transported to Lakes Region General Hospital. Oh. Shit.

This morning I learned that the on-call doctor called not long after I left and, after hearing the symptoms, advised that Kathleen be taken immediately to the hospital. She was given a chest x-ray and a CT scan and they found multiple pulmonary embolisms. (Is that the plural? Anyway, blood clot on the lungs). Lisa, who was going to go home to bed, stayed at the house with Jeanne. Diane went with Kathleen. Eventually, pain and anti-anxiety meds got her comfortable enough to sleep, though she was still in a good deal of pain. Diane stayed until 4:30, went back to Kathleen's to relieve Lisa and was heading back to the hospital this morning to find out about tests Kathleen was having.

Kathleen has 5 brothers. They all live far away. One of them is flying in from Chicago - or more accurately has certainly already arrived. I'm so glad about that.

It's 1:19PM. I don't know anything else. I want to give Diane a chance to rest... she's been up since God knows when yesterday. And I also don't want to know.

For her, now... it IS Darfur.