Baby Ignorance

*Cough cough cough*

*Aaachooo!*

You'll have to excuse me. There is so much dust gathered on this blog that my allergies are kicking in something fierce. 

So, what does it take to get me back on the blog after such a ginormous absence? A major life event? A flash of brilliance that the world just NEEDS to know about? 

Nah. The long and short of it is that my 2 big boys went to see The Mouse in Florida with my husband for February Break and it's just Gabe and me here for the week. So, no job to go to, 2/3 of my kids gone... Plus I'm also on a Lenten Facebook hiatus so that frees up a good chunk of time! (If you are an FB friend, by the way, I'm Tweeting like the Dickens, so if you're missing my nonsense, check me out @PhoebeVG over there. All the ridonk with 1/100th the followers. You'd be totes exclusive!) 

Clearly they are in despair without their beloved Mother/Wife.

Yes, I'm out of excuses for not blogging.

(And really really... I talked to my mom today and she hinted that it's been QUITE a while since I had a new post. Who am I to deny my Mama?!) 

And I actually do have a point. Well, as much of a point as I ever have.

I was giving Gabe a bath tonight and he was being freaking adorable, which is his custom. In the last few days he's really started to get into splashing and squealing and general rambunctiousness in the tub. (Did I say adorable? Maybe I meant dangerous...?) 

Adorb-erous? Dang-able?

He has also recently discovered the power of 'uh oh'. He says it when he drops things. Also when he throws things. And when he sees things he likes. And things he doesn't like. When he breathes in. And out. So, yeah, pretty much all the time lately he's saying 'uh oh'. And I know you won't believe this, but I can sense from the look on his face that he's pretty pleased with himself with regard to this new skill.

So, as my warped mind tends to do, I got to thinking about how funny it is that he's so proud of 'uh oh' when really, he's got an enormous way to go when it comes to surviving daily life. During bath time alone I noted that he was splashing (rude!), trying to stand up (danger!), trying to drink the bath water (gross!) from the bottom side of the cup (duh!). I wondered, "How is this soggy, squirming, can't-even-eat-off-a-plate-because-he'll-throw-it-across-the-room child ever going to absorb all of the things one needs to survive, let alone THRIVE, in this world." 

Okay, if I'm being truly honest, my exact thought was, "If Gabe knew now how much more he needed to learn before he could survive even one day of preschool, he'd never leave the crib."

Which got me thinking about the miracle that goes on in every single person. How in the H-E-LLama do we make it? I know that very smart people have spent their adult lives studying, researching, analyzing, writing and publishing about this. But just looking at the face of it, you don't need to do more than heft a copy of "What to Expect the First Year" to know that some serious junk is going on in those little bodies and brains. 

In the tub tonight, here's what I was saying to Gabe, along with what it made me wonder.

"Do you want the green cup?" (Does he know what a cup is? Does he know what green is? Does he think that cup is the word for green and green is the word for cup?)

"Let's get your belly sudsy and clean." (Does he wonder where we are going to 'get' his belly? Or does he think we are getting 3 things called belly, sudsy and clean?)

"No, no, no. You can't stand up in the tub. That's not safe." (I bet he thinks 'no, no, no' means 'you're clearly having fun and it's time for you to stop.')

And it goes on and on.

I promised I had a point, so I guess it's this: babies are super lucky that they have no idea how much they have to learn in order to survive childhood. The counterpoint to that, of course, is that parents are lucky they have no idea how much they have to learn to survive parenthood. Some of us get enough amnesia that we are willing to give it a go more than once!

And one final shameless plug for Twitter followers. Here's the Twitter version of this post:


(1of 3) 1st time Mom: my 10-mo-old loves to say 'uh oh'. He says it for hello, good bye, I'm hungry.... So precious! #parenting #babies

(2 of 3) 3rd time mom: If my 10-mo-old had any idea all the sh*t he had to learn b4 preschool he wouldn't be so cocky about 'uh oh'.#babies

(3 of 3) who am I kidding? #babies saying 'uh oh' is freaking adorable. Always. #parenting

Now, wouldn't it be easier for you to just follow me on Twitter? Much less yackity yack. @PhoebeVG. You won't be sorry.