Thursday, June 9, 2011

Purposeful obscurity

You know when you have something you HAVE to do? And it's something you don't want to do. But you NEED to do. And it's not like anyone's telling you that you HAVE to do it. But you know you do. And you give yourself a time at which you are going to do it. And as you think about it and lift off approaches, you continue to dread it but you know afterwards a huge burden will be lifted. And you remind yourself that thinking about it is always worse than doing it. And really, you keep going back to that relief you'll feel afterward....

Yeah. No.

Sometimes, not often, the dreaded thing is MUCH worse than you thought it would be.

Sometimes the dreaded thing that you thought you were prepared to do goes badly.

Sometimes the dreaded thing ends and, somehow, you still dread it. Dread is supposed to be a feeling you have about future events, but you still feel it. It's not regret - you don't think - even though regret is kind of the past tense partner of dread.

Sometimes there's no relief.

Sometimes there's no reassuring feeling that you did the right thing.

Sometimes the dreaded thing ought to be dreaded.

But it's done now.

So I guess we'll see how well I can rest on this bed that I made.

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