Learn, re-learn, re-relearn....

How long do I have to be me before I stop having to re-learn the same life lesson?

I let go of Boston. That was totally the right move. I feel good about it.

The training had been going quite well. I was motivated, but I was not over doing it. Last Friday - when I ran in such frighteningly cold weather at a ghastly time in the morning and totally rocked it - I had that fleeting "I Am Kick Ass" feeling that comes 2 or 3 times during a training plan. I blogged about it 'cuz I was more than a little proud of myself. In fact, my arm is still a little sore from patting myself on the back.

However, as I said in my last post, postponing Boston by a year is 100% the right move. I had an incredibly kind - like, maybe the nicest compliment of my life - comment on my Facebook page from a fellow runner (who IS doing Boston) who happens to be a magazine writer. He also happens to be following and writing about the production of "Dispatches From Candor". In response to my status update declaring my decision, he said "I, for one, admire your dedication to this play and taking it to Candor. I think it is one of the stories of the year for the Lakes Region."

Can't beat THAT as far as supportive and understanding!

So far I have nothing to replace it. I am probably going to do Eastern States in late March, which is a flat, 20-miler. (Never done a 20-miler so guaranteed PR.. Woo hoo!) I think I'm doing a 5K in March with a couple of friends. But I don't have anything truly different to do.

My best idea so far lasted about 8 hours. I was going to run the breast cancer 3-Day. I envisioned myself chugging along at a slow, easy pace. Maybe taking 5-hours to run 20 miles on day 1 and day 2 and then cranking out everything I had left for the final leg on day 3. It wouldn't be an ultra... but kinda it would. I was totally jazzed at the idea. Then.... I found out they don't let you run the 3-Day. It makes sense. I mean, they don't want it to turn into a race. I was disappointed, though.

I could sign up for the Ultra portion of the Niagara marathon I did last June. It's "only" 31 miles, give or take. That's not too bad. I'm still considering it.

But.... I don't know if I want a race that would take MORE training time. I look at the next 6 or 8 weeks and think of the time and energy (and love) that will need to go into Scott's shows. It would be really cool if this year, for once, I didn't moan and groan and sulk because he was away from home so much and stressed about giving birth to another show. I really owe him that on this one. So, will continuing on my marathon training - even though I don't have a marathon on tap! - be the right move?

My behavior this weekend would indicate... No. I didn't run Friday. Snow day. Scary roads. I didn't run Saturday. Went to the mall ALL morning/afternoon and then off to a fun night out with a friend. Really no excuse except I didn't feel like getting up early. I barely ran today (4 miles).

So... where am I? What I am doing? What's my point?

And why, why, why am I eternally asking this ridiculously adolescent question?