It came to me at 4:37 this morning. I woke up and checked my watch. I had 23 minutes until the alarm was going to go off. I had to pee. I was pondering whether or not we had gotten snow over night. The moon was very bright so I assumed we had not and that we would have school. (I was wrong.... But that's another story). I got up to go to the bathroom. I turned off my alarm in the bathroom and went back to bed to ponder whether or not I should try to run on the roads or stick to the Elliptical machine. A runner acquaintance/FB friend had a scary, angry driver experience the other day and it's had me thinking more and more about these icy, no-shoulder roads we trek upon.
And then.... I suddenly thought... I don't HAVE to run Boston.
It was not a gradual realization. It was just BAM.
Now, for lots of reasons, Boston is important. I qualified. I earned it. And this year, a ba-jillion people who qualified were not able to get in because of the record 8 hours & 3 minutes it took for the race to fill up. Tommy was born on Patriot's Day so that's pretty cool and running it would be super symbolic. People work for years, some never getting there, to have the opportunity to run this race. And, although it wasn't exactly on my Bucket List, it would be cool to be able to tell my grandchildren about it someday.
But for lots of other reasons, Boston - at least this year - is a bad idea. Mostly, it won't be a true "Boston Experience". Because of the AMAZING opportunity we have to bring "Dispatches From Candor" to Candor, I would have to drive with the kids into Boston late Sunday afternoon. I would hopefully be on time for the registration but I would miss the spectacle of the Expo. I would miss the "Country Mouse in the City" feeling I love so much. Scott and my mom and my sisters have vowed to be there... but getting from the show in Candor to Boston will be, ummm, challenging to say the least. It would all simply be STRESS... and not the good kind.
So. I haven't pulled the trigger or anything. I may change my mind back. But the feeling of relief I got when the idea came over me was very telling.