Totally On Purpose: Early Worries

This post foreshadows a little hiccup I had a few days later... But we'll get to that in another post.

Dear Baby TOP,

It's only August 12. But I'm freaking out. Just thought I'd let you know. I am worried that my "Advanced Maternal Age" leaves me at high risk for... EVERYTHING ! I have had a "fullness" in my belly since I took that pregnancy test. I'm sure it's 99% psychosomatic, but everytime I get a little cramp or ache in my belly, I freak a little. There are countless examples of friends and family members who have lost babies and for whatever reason. I know I can't understand their heartache. Selfishly, I hope I never do. Just very worried about you.

I hope my running isn't making you nuts in there. I'm not planning on doing any more crazy mileage, I promise. That 18-miler last Saturday (before I knew of you) is the farthest you'll go via my feet! I'm trying to find information on running and early weeks of pregnancy. Seems like if there was a strong negative connotation I would have found it by now. I keep seeing "in moderation" but "in moderation" for me could mean a lot of different things. Before doctors said "as long as you were doing it before pregnancy, you should be able to do it now." But, "I was so much younger then, I'm older than that now." Will you forgive 6 or 8 miles tomorrow?

And although you're going to be a secret for quite a bit longer, Dad did say he NEEDS to talk to somebody about all this and I told him, yes, definitely. I have Aunt Heather, after all.

Okay. Be good in there. I will be good out here. Looking forward to communion on Sunday and a sip of wine! ; )

P.S. I'm SO tired! I can't decide if it's normal tired or Baby tired. I'm just TIRED and in need of naps every afternoon.