This started as a song parody....

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me, is keeping the damn house clean.

I started writing the entire song out. But it's so flipping depressing just listing a dozen things that are getting me down. Why not just focus on one really big thing instead? That oughta cheer me uP! (Note the sarcasm style for the last sentence).

It's been a very trying day childcare-wise. I already know what Dr. Phil and Supernanny would say.... it's my fault. You can't blame a 2-year-old. They aren't capable of being the true source of the problem. But, sheesh, couldn't fate give me a LITTLE break and bring me laid back and compliant kids sometime?

I swear that B goes through his mental list of all the "time out" behaviors and performs them one by one. With a smile on his face. And a smile (or bloody screaming, depending on his mood) while he sits in time out. I wonder if he has a secret Blackberry with the to do list that he joyfully checks off when I'm not looking:

1) run in the house? CHECK
2) hit/push/grab/otherwise physically bother smaller child? CHECK
3) scream? CHECK
4) stand on chair at table? CHECK
5) put feet on table while sitting in chair? CHECK
6) stand on/jump on/jump OFF couch? CHECK
7) hit TV? CHECK
8) put random objects in mouth? CHECK

As soon as I say, "don't do that, that will be a time out" he does it. And he gets the time out. And then he goes onto the next thing on his list.

Today at the library he was literally running away from me and SCREAMING. I put him in the car... by himself..... while I got the other 5 kids loaded up. I could not only lose my daycare license for that, I could go to jail! Thankfully one of the library ladies took pity on me and stood out in the cold and kept on eye on the kids in the car for me as I gathered up the remainders left inside. So I probably dodged the jail/license revocation bullet.

So. Yeah. TIME. OUTS. AREN'T. WORKING.

Clearly I have not found his currency. None of my consequences alter his behavior so obviously I don't have the right consequences. His father apparently gives him a smack on the bum when he gets out of control at home.... Obviously that's not an option for me. But, OH, do I get why it might come to that!

I have found a few activities that he does appropriately and enjoys: vacuuming and reading stories. Both of these activities have their problems, however. BOTH the little boys like to vacuum so that then becomes a battle of taking turns... which leads to hitting. Or pushing. And always, ALWAYS... screaming. As for the reading stories, that's great for 10 or 15 minutes at a time, but I have STUFF to do and other kids (five of them) to attend to. I cannot just sit and read/play/amuse this one little monster (I mean boy, of course) all day!

The good news (or is it bad news? hard to say!) is that he is like this at home, too. So he's not just saving it for me. At home he has fewer kids to "bug" so I'm sure it's not the same level of constant battling, either.

Another fun fact, whatever naughty behavior he displays the not-quite-2-year-old mimics. And whatever naughty behavior any of the other 5 kids display HE mimics. Only louder. Or harder. Or faster. Or higher. You get the idea. Gooood times.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi..... I am not made out for this job. I need a magic wand and a career that I am good at that I actually enjoy.

Frick.

(My next 5 blogs will be positive. Swear to God).