I think it's time to take a stand on a really important issue. I, like many of you, have been in denial long enough. We all need to stand up and change our own ways so that the world will be a better place. It's troubling to me that I have waited so long to address this social blight. Okay, it's really a private blight. But it's time to make it stop.
I looked in my bathroom cabinets today and I was appalled. Countless bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, lotion.... with a exceptionally small amount left. They sit there. Collecting dust. Taking up valuable real estate. Begging for a return to the shower or counter where they can be utilized by their owner. Can you hear their fruity essence imploring for your attention? Don't turn away. I know. It's hard to dwell on this disturbing mental image. But I need you to picture it so that you can understand the change I'm asking of myself.
And don't look at me that way. You do it, too. You get almost finished with your shampoo or conditioner or body wash or whatever and you add that item to the shopping list. You go to the store and you sniff and you read labels and you locate the perfect new product. It's going to smell good. It's going to make you want to achieve and be your most wonderful self. You'll be gorgeous. You'll feel gorgeous. You'll be at least 15% smarter and 37% more productive. Your sex life will be 67.4% more satisfying.
You get it home and bring it to the bathroom. But sitting there - still - is your old shampoo. Your old conditioner. Your old body wash. But you are SO over Avocado Peppermint. You cannot go another day with that scent on your skin. You have to move on. Because, dammit, you have found THEE solution to every problem in your life! And it is inside this beautiful bottle of Mango Orange Blossom.
So, the Avocado Peppermint goes in the cupboard. (You can't throw it away, of course... that would be wasting it!) And the Avocado Peppermint joins the Juniper Breeze and the Raspberry Melon and the Vanilla Rosebud Heaven and the Cucumber Jack-o-Lantern Surprise...... You now have at least a dozen bottles of mostly used hair and body care products in your cupboard. You, unbeknownst to you, are the Prison keeper and all of your products are in lock down.
That ends TODAY.
Today I invite you to join me on a quest. Join me and stand up for change. Stand up for a world free of prematurely tossed aside hair care and body products.
On this day, I vow to cease my purchase of new skin or hair care products until I have used up the minuscule amounts that I have in the built up containers in my bathroom cupboards. And in the drawers. And probably in the medicine cabinet... I vow that, even if my initial dream of life-altering deliciousness upon application has faded like Lindsey Lohan's dream of a respectable image, I will use that Blueberry Lilac Strawmelon Body Mousse until it is gone. I vow that I will celebrate the emptying of each bottle with the ceremonial tossing of the lid and recycling of the bottle. I vow that as soon I as I am finished with these orphaned products - sometime in 2013, most likely - I will keep a bathroom free of partially used products.
And I ask you to join me.
LET'S GET ALL OUR MOSTLY-USED PRODUCTS TOGETHER AND SWAP!! I could really go for a Mocha Latte ("Now with caffeine!") Body Wash right now.
No. No. Join me. The long bathroom nightmare must come to an end.