This summer Tommy is participating in "Kingswood Childrens' Summer Theatre". This is his first "varsity" play, given that all his other performances have been in our house or at church with Mom standing 2 feet away. They are putting on "Alice in Wonderland" and he has the role of a Card. I don't know for sure but I have the distinct feeling this is equivalent to being a Shepard in the Christmas pageant: lots of following the herd on and off stage and a few group lines. It's great for him because he was a) SO worried they would want him to be Alice and b) SO worried they would give him too many lines to remember. It has been almost 2 full weeks of rehearsals and I am very pleased with how well it's going.
And more than my loving it, he loves it. He even told me yesterday "Mom, I wish theater lasted all day long." (They meet Monday-Friday 8:30 - 12:00... but it's not enough for him, apparently!) Reports are that he is really enthusiastic and works very hard to follow along with all the choreography and songs. He also jumps right in during break times to play with all the older kids. (This is a direct result of hanging out with the campers and counselors at William Lawrence Camp, I think.) I am more than just a little proud of my kid when I hear that.
But, (of course there is a but!) yesterday he punched his friend. Four times. We discussed things thoroughly and met with the boy and his mom this morning before I would let Tommy go inside. I also spoke with the director and Tommy together (she hadn't even heard about the incident) and let her know that if anything like that happened again I would like the staff to remove Tommy from the activity and from his peers, call me immediately on my cell and I would come pick him up. After that we would have to have a discussion to decide if it was safe for Tommy to continue with summer theater. She was great about it and told me she would inform the rest of the adults of this plan so that there would be follow through if that was necessary. Lord, don't let it be necessary!
I hated to be that hard on him but I really don't feel like going to court with him in 10 years on assault charges.
Anyway.... I'm also enjoying the 1:1 time with Elliott, though I am playing too much and cleaning too little. Can't have everything!
(This is the crew that turned out for Wolfeboro's Fourth of July parade. Tommy is front and center with the Gap visor.)
That was an awesome post, Phoebe--thanks for sharing that. I think your perspective is a whole lot more important that you want to give yourself credit for. There aren't many Mommies that have the capacity to handle all boys as you do every day! Your struggle to balance gender and now, working through this with Tommy. Anger management (especially in men) is still a pervasive problem and it's very proactive on your part to try and nip it now. C'mon, to be able to address those problems that lead to Jerry Springer weave pulls and Bad Girl b!tch slaps now...priceless. I'm sure there are LOTS of Moms out there that share your anguish and confusion--because, yeah, where does the need to hit come from really, right? [Well, you keep writing because the answers will start coming to you!]
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