I have to remind myself. It's temporary. I won't feel like this forever. I know WHY I feel this way. I just have to wait. But I miss my endorphins. So very very much.
It's been a week since my last work out. A week and a day since I ran 5 miles. A week and half since I ran 10 miles.... And worst of all I had to skip my 20 mile run this weekend - the final 'test' before the marathon on June 19. I despise just about everything I look at right now. I am mean and nasty and I probably need to get put in a cage until I can run again. And when will that be?
Good question. It's a been a week since I started to feel sick. It's been 6 days since the fever got going. I spent most of Memorial Day weekend in bed. The worst of my fever broke Saturday when I stopped taking meds and just "sweat it out." But.... the exhaustion persisted and on Monday morning my head and throat hurt so much I sucked up the $50 copay and went to the ER. "Viral" (read: waste of 50 bucks). Not what I wanted to hear.
I feel a lot better now. I even "ran" yesterday morning. It was a very slow 2 miles but I just wanted to make sure I was okay to get started with real training again. Nope. Last night my fever came back. It wasn't high, but I started to feel feverish when I was at 97 degrees. (I always run cold). I kept feeling worse and worse so I kept checking the temp. Got up to 99.7 before I went to sleep. Woke up with a normal temp.... And feel okay, except that I want to kill someone. That's normal, right?
The pattern (feel okay during the day, low grade fever at night) is now starting to mimic what happened when I had post-surgery infections. I am going to get blood drawn tomorrow afternoon to see if I have some infection hiding inside me. I wonder if it would be untoward of me to ask the Doc for anti-depressants when I'm there. I think Scott has taken about all he can.
Oil in the Gulf? That's a problem.
Floods in Nashville? That's a problem.
Israeli soldiers invading aid ships to Palestine? That's a problem.
Phoebe unable to get her running fix? That should not be a problem.
And yet... here I am.
UPDATE: A fun bonus... today the fever came back at 1:00PM instead of 7:30PM. I took Tylenol in the morning so my guess is that if I hadn't, it would have crept up sooner. Wallow, wallow, wallow.....