I sent this message to a couple of my FB friends, one a psychologist and another a family therapist. Maybe someone else will have some suggestions....
Today Tom was pissed off because one of his daycare buddies said "you lose" to him. This is a phrase Tommy uses liberally and with great joy toward others.... though I have tried to remove it from his repertoire.
He sat on the kitchen counter debriefing with me and telling me how mean these kids were (they are brothers) and I indulged. Then I said, "So what should we do about it." He said...
"I'm gonna get 3 knives and cut them in half."
Awesome.
I said... "Do you really want to know what would happen if you got knives and cut the boys? The police and other people in our town would decide that Mommy & Daddy didn't know how to be good parents to you and they would take you to live with another family."
And went on from there.
I did this very calmly but of course now I'm wondering if that was too brutal. He didn't seem too phased by it but he did retort, a few minutes later...
"Okay, I won't use a gun and I won't use a knife because you don't like those. But I'll use a light saber because you like those."
Again: awesome. Thank you, George Lucas. Message clearly not received.
P.S. I did relay this to my Mom and although she wasn't sure I said the right thing, she DID say it's exactly what she would have said. I come by it honestly, anyway!
Should I just send him to a foster family now or wait till we get on the news???
He sat on the kitchen counter debriefing with me and telling me how mean these kids were (they are brothers) and I indulged. Then I said, "So what should we do about it." He said...
"I'm gonna get 3 knives and cut them in half."
Awesome.
I said... "Do you really want to know what would happen if you got knives and cut the boys? The police and other people in our town would decide that Mommy & Daddy didn't know how to be good parents to you and they would take you to live with another family."
And went on from there.
I did this very calmly but of course now I'm wondering if that was too brutal. He didn't seem too phased by it but he did retort, a few minutes later...
"Okay, I won't use a gun and I won't use a knife because you don't like those. But I'll use a light saber because you like those."
Again: awesome. Thank you, George Lucas. Message clearly not received.
P.S. I did relay this to my Mom and although she wasn't sure I said the right thing, she DID say it's exactly what she would have said. I come by it honestly, anyway!
Should I just send him to a foster family now or wait till we get on the news???
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