Ha ha ha. Ha. Ha ha. Ha.
Sob.
Yes. It's one month pre-now-not-happening-40 mile run. I have so far been determined to remain positive and to look at this as a new beginning. I have turned my Tights of Doom (the ones I was wearing the day of The Incident) into hopefully-inspiring decor. My thought is to have all of my medical people - and anyone who's supporting me, really - sign them as things go along. It will be a reminder to me that lots of people are helping me through this.
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| Will people be weirded out when the only place left to sign is on the crotch? Hmmmm.... |
And speaking of people who are supporting me, my co-worker/mile 24 teammate/runner friend, Carol, gave me an early birthday present on Thursday. ("I was going to hold it, but I thought you could use it now.") It's so amazingly, wonderfully, ME that it gave me goosebumps. Carol has been a great cheerleader to me and really gets me.... specifically my need to run and my floundering when it comes to What I Want To Be When I Grow Up. (Carol doesn't share the second part of that. She's a veteran teacher and DEFINITELY knows and loves her vocation). Her #1 hero is Joan Benoit-Samuelson but she has told me that I am #2..... Holy humbling, Batman!
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| Sometimes the best way to figure out who you are is to get to that place where you don't have to be anything else. |
The amount of love I am getting from social media is incredible. In addition to the 40-miler, I've also been part of a virtual community of Mother Runners who are training to run a 1/2 marathon on or around Mother's Day. We use the tracking app and website Strava for mileage and community support. Because of my ultra training, my mileage was way out of whack with everyone elses (all of which are visible to "club" members) so I had explained what the deal was. Before my fall, I was receiving lots of "Kudos" and positive comments about my training. When I went to the site to share my unfortunate news, the support was humongous. It's, admittedly, a little tough to go to the site and see all the amazing runs people are taking as I muddle through leg lifts and sit ups in an effort to maintain some fitness... but I am logging my little PT workouts get receiving lots of positive feedback. When it comes to understanding, encouragement and love, you cannot beat the Badass Mother Runners.
Well... you MIGHT beat it.... If you go to my Facebook page. I have been the recipient of hundreds of kind messages, comments and virtual hugs. I know Facebook gets a bad rap but I know for sure that having a place to connect with friends, family, and even strangers who've stumbled upon me and share what's going on with my stupid knee is very motivating for me. Here's a comment after my terrible ER visit (where the doc basically said I was done with distance running) from my high school friend and mile 21 teammate, Kim. It's an example of how overwhelmingly, fantastically, amazingly, wonderful my people are:
I respect the doctor, but he clearly doesn't know Phoebe VanScoy Giessler. She isn't a mere mortal with damaged cartilage...she is a bad ass mother runner warrior who comes up with crazy schemes to promote kindness and subjects her body to unprecendented levels of cold and pain to complete her goal. She inspires. She makes you believe in the good in people and the good in yourself. Phoebe might be sidelined for a moment, but she cannot be stopped!
She got 13 likes on that but I think it's worth about 13,000. Stuff like that? Keeps me going.
ASIDE:
Though I put it on Facebook, I haven't blog'd about my appointment on Wednesday with THE BEST person for the job, Tim O'Brien. He is a PA and an athletic trainer. Great things for sure, but even more importantly, he is a MARATHON RUNNER and an IRONMAN TRIATHLETE. His assessment, in addition to the fact that I will, in fact, run again, is that I certainly have an MCL tear (no surgery), there's a 50/50 chance I have a meniscus tear (arthroscopic surgery) and a 50/50 chance I have an ACL tear (been there, done that 20 years ago on the left said and it's horrible and scary and I don't don't don't want this to be the case, but I feel like his 50/50 was kind... I am almost certain I have the ACL tear. DEEP breath.)
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| My Hero: Tim O'Brien |
The question for now, though, is WHERE am I going? I am in Worker's Comp Purgatory. I can't seem to get an MRI scheduled because (according to the orthopedics's office) the insurance guy has not returned their calls. And of course, without an MRI we can't be sure what's going on in there. It's difficult to handle this having NO timeline thing. I can believe that I will get better but it sure would be easier if I had a better sense of what I was up against. Learning to live with uncertainty. Not loving it. But living with it.
Finally, I have created a Facebook page for Pay It 40ward. This is in response to several people's kind, simultaneous thought that my pals could run on my behalf on March 15th. I had many people who said they would do so anyway, but I thought it would be more fun if we had a single place to log the miles. I know we can get far more than 40... it'll be fun to see how many. One friend, quite reasonably, said she could not do 40 miles but would walk 40 minutes in my honor. Clever! My sister, Heidi, has a 2-mile loop she uses to walk her dog. She plans to do that 5 times through the course of the day to add 10 miles to the total. A pal who is training for Boston assured me he will dedicate that long run to ill-fated self. And some folks seem to want to come together in my neck of woods to walk and run in a group. I am going to set that up, too. So far the site (less than 24 hours old) has 72 "likes". I don't know if I can think of 72 people who "like" me in real life, but I guess they must! I am humbled....
Have I mentioned that People Are Amazing?
P.S. How come I never knew it was arthroscopic and not orthoscopic surgery?! Huh. Thank you, spellcheck!
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